What can I do to help my husband who is shizophranic and chooses to be homeless?

Question

My husband is a Paranoid Schizophranic and he often would get off his medication, and leave to go and stay with his mother in Chicago, who agrees with him that he doesn't need to take his medication, and he could live with her. My husband would leave for about 3 months over the years would return here to Mississippi all tired looking and with his mind very tired from a lack of sleep, and from hearing the voices, and I would have to hospitalize him with the help of his Therapist convincing him or sometimes by force getting the police and court involved. My husband would leave saying that I don't love him because I keep trying to get him to take his medication, and placing him in the hospital. He also states that I even talk to the voices in his head. My husband when he is off his medication can become violent, he would talk to himself, walk constantly throughout the day and night, make false accusations about me and about other people, he would curse and throw things for no reason in the bedroom alone to himself, unplug the tv, and a couple of occasions punched me, and charged at our 21 year old daughter ( I step in and was knock to the floor). When he is on his medication he is the loving man that I know and married, without it I don't know him. My husband had no signs that I was aware of that he was Schizophranic until 11years into our marriage. We been married 24 years. Anyway in February of this year he left again refusing to take his medication, and went to Chicago, this time he scared his mother so bad and also left Chicago saying that everyone was messing with his mind, and moved to Columbia South Carolina, where he doesn't know anyone. He would call to talk to our daughter sometimes and was living in homeless shelters, we now learn that he is living on the streets, sleeping outside. He has money from his social security disability on his card, and I asked him why want he get his own place or a room, since he says he will never get on his medication and want return home. He tells me that he likes living homeless, and can't stand four walls, that he wants everyone to leave him alone. My daughter and I are very concern that someone could hurt him, and his mind is worsier than before, what can we do to get him home to get help, or even get him help in Columbia, South Carolina where he is at? I feel like we are running out of time, because he stated he might go somewhere else where noone can find him?

Jedi Jan · Answer

This is really sad.  Unfortunately he is in a state of mind where he just doesn't trust anyone any more.  It is not your fault of course.  I would be inclined to call the authorities in the area where he lives and ask if they can help in any way.  Ask the therapists if there are alternative medicines he could be taking.  I knew of someone who was taking the schizophrenic drugs and they made him so very depressed, so it was difficult for him to stay on them.  He actually found a good balance by reducing the schizophrenic drugs (taking them at regular intervals though) but enough to stop the hallucinations, stopping the antidepressants, but drinking a limited amount of alcohol and smoking marijuana.  A lot of his problems stemmed from the fact he was not taking the meds at the same time, going out without his meds, so on yoyo swings of moods.  Yes, I hate to say that but in his situation the drugs they had him on left him very lethargic and depressed, so he ended up on other meds too which actually just made things even worse.  Case of getting meds that agree with the individual and/or trying alternative drugs too.  Perhaps another therapist can recommend other drugs for him; there is more than one drug out there, and he could build up some trust with.  The trust issue is a big one and if he doesn't trust the therapist he sees then he really needs to see another one; that relationship is really paramount, above all else.  Sorry, I hope that your husband gets some help soon.

Universeone · Answer

Yes it is miserable to live with schizopranic.  From my experiece, my tips are as follows.
1. Do regular exercise to make you relax and strong to support your hubby and family. Your health is very important to help him. Otherwise you will be sick and more difficult. This is long period or up life continuing disease. Therefore the family should know this point and try to keep their health in strong and good. 
2. Medication is vital for this disease. If he keep proper medication, he could be stay with your family. If he stop, he should be hospitalized. Even he refuse it, put him hospital with help of police or other specialist. Also the way of treatment method and doctrine are different for each hospital or medical university. So try to consult with different doctors.
My son has good result by changing hospital.
ㄱ
3. Take it easy and accept the situation. Than make your self healthy and enjoy life. 
   Also help family live strong and bright.
Than hou could be happy and help him.

Danin · Answer

There is absolutely nothing you can do for this adult male who enjoys his paranoia and wants to be schizophrenic 

Yes his mind is worse but consider that he is living with so many other mentally ill people he is able to live a life he wants to live.  You cannot force him to do what you want him to do and you cannot condone his actions by giving him money.  He is able to live a normal life and deal with his mental issues and psychological disorders that are travelling with his mental illness but you are trying to control him and keep him safe which is admirable but it is your feelings of guilt that is pushing you to do this not his.  

YOu believe he would be better, but he won;t He has no ability to love others as much as he loves his voices and himself.  I have lived all my life with this type of person and it is a selfish journey that they take when they love the voices so much   If you don't understand you can't hope to comprehend the love and loyalty he has to his voices.

Just be there and see if he will keep in touch with you ask him for an address to send a birthday gift to now and again and expect him to die as schizophrenics don't have a long life time it is a natural life that dies by the average age of 60.

sorry to be blunt but you are under the impression that you can do something and he doesn't want you to do something, he knows he can be well but he doesn't want to be well, he wants the voices, he craves the voices.

Anonymous · Answer

here are numerous reasons why a once committed relationship would degenerate to one partner asking for a divorce.  how to save your marriage https://tr.im/7tb2j

It could have been:

- an affair
- having been separated by a long distance for lengths of time
- conflict
- behavioral issues or psychological problems of one spouse
- even unmanaged addictions. 

Whatever of these problems may be what is seen on the surface, the bottom line is that usually, barring any abuse or psychological problems that are best handled by a professional, a couple find themselves in danger of divorce when there is a loss of:

- communication, 
- love 
- and intimacy 

in the marital relationship.

Trending News

What can I do to help my husband who is shizophranic and chooses to be homeless?

4 Answers