Would you read on from these two sentences?

Honestly, I would not. There's not enough information to get me interested and there's nothing exciting about those two sentences to make me wonder whats going to happen next.

I like it. It catches my eye and makes me wonder about who this person is and why their father is dead. It makes me think about the inclusion of the word 'rule'. Maybe the father was a king of some sort.

Tip: Don't start sentences with the word 'and'. It is grammatically incorrect and fairly annoying. I really don't like reading something that I have to correct in my mind.

This is a little idea that I think sounds better and a little fancier:

"My father has passed, thus ending his two decade rule. Now, I fear, I am alone."

This, I think, captures the idea that I got from those two sentences that you gave.

Good luck! Hope I helped!

How about---

"...and I am left alone. My father has passed and his rule of two decades is over. "

That would be better, because the 'left alone' part is more interesting. It is better to go to the point, and grasp the reader. Plus it is very 'catchy' to have a '...' at the very start of the story.

But, is it compulsory that the father has to be mentioned at first? It would be better if it's like this---

"...and I am left alone. Alone in this palace, alone in this world."

Or something like that. Just to spark some poetic-ness to it, right? But well, the opening is mostly a paragraph. The first few sentences, yes, is important, but a little more information would've helped us answer your question. But either way, if after some slight alterations, it is worthy of reading. :)

Starting with "And" makes the beginning sentence feel like it's lacking the first part. "Now" or "then" or "today" would feel more finished. I think if you included a hint of what he ruled over for two decades, it might grab more attention.

I would say yes, although I would take out the word 'and'. It feels like the ending of the story, like it's continuing from a different sentence, rather than starting one.

Just don't start a book with 'and'. And what? There is no preceding information. It's as pointless and difficult to understand as 'potato my father has passed'. Not a good technique for the very first sentence.

You have good content, though. Just re-word.

Good luck!

Sure, it does grab my attention and maybe I would read on but I am certain you can word it better and make it even more interesting.

It depends, maybe if there were a little more information to hook the reader, like if you are saying the characters father was a ruler or king, you could say.

I am left alone, with an unwanted crown in my hand, and the most important decision of all to make, whether i should take it or not...

Its up to you, whatever.

Can you answer mine?

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Athdc...

Thanks

I'd want to know what genre it is, then I'd check the cover blurb and THEN if I read those first lines I just might read on.

Yeah I would read on, it makes it seem like it going to be interesting and would make the reader read on to see what happens next.