Should I return the money? What would you do?

If you know for a fact that your ex treats all referrals like this, then you should keep the money. Your husband is being too controlling, and suspicious.

If you think there was any inkling of a "warm fuzzy feeling" attached to your ex paying you for the referral, then send it back to him, thanking him for the offer but telling him that, "under the circumstances" you can't accept it.

I think that was a very sweet thing your ex did. If your husband was secure with himself inside the marriage he wouldn't feel threatened by a simple act of kindness. He has a problem, what is he so scared of?

Sign the check over to your present husband and see if he doesn't change his tune.

Put the money in a bank account.

You'll need it when you decide to get away from the controlling jerk.

( understands how referrals work)

That's a little too much jealousy really. But if $1k is nothing to you, then return it. If it helps pay the bills, then keep it. In most families every bit of $ helps.

I would take the money deposit it. Tell him to grow up, and that you are not throwing out $1000 for his personal issues of territorial insecurity over you and add that you will refrain from giving out referrals in the future, but what's done is done.

If you can't reason with him then yeah , return the money .

Myself , I am happy to refer someone that does a good job without any sort of compensation .

I would tell your husband you can do one of two things. A) return the money or b) donate it to a charity that both of you have an interest in.

Is he controlling in other ways, though? Then you need to stand up for yourself.

I understand where your husband is coming from, but personally, I don't understand the desire to have your spouse prosecute their ex. Given the choice between someone who is on good terms with their ex against someone who's bitter with them, I'll take a SO who's on good terms with their ex any day, provided they have no romantic feelings for them.

Someone who's bitter about their ex often becomes bitter about their current spouse in some way. When he's more receptive, you might want to bring up the issue that although you love him, you have no reason to hate anyone else.

Not now, though. This isn't the sort of issue worth hassling over.

There's nothing wrong with accepting the money but nothing really wrong with not accepting it, either. So, if the issue is only about your ex, let it go.

Buy your husband something with it, then he won't complain.

Then just drop the money in the collection plate at church.