My family would be destroyed if they knew the truth?

Cheating is heartbreaking for those involved-even the cheater when they really love the one they cheated on. I am sorry that you are going through this turmoil, and when it is self created, I can only imagine the guilt you feel.

You said you cheated before you were married... how long have you been married? How is your relationship with your husband? What extent does he know about? These are all things for you to think about, and it sounds like you have been faithful since marriage. Manic episodes can result in behavior not typical to the person... my mom is bi polar so I know this first hand. Make sure you are staying on top of your treatment. Do everything you can do to keep yourself out of the zones. I do believe you should tell your husband. He will be hurt, he will be angry. But living authentically and honestly will lift that burden from you, and let him have the truth. He also may surprise you & not leave you. Have you talked to a therapist about it? Rip off the bandaid

I understand that you are very distraught about the situation that you find yourself in right now. And when our hearts our heavy it is very difficult to continue with daily activities. The bible is very open about Adultery and the seriousness of it in a marriage, however it also shows that there is still a future for you and your husband and that Forgiveness is possible and therefore you can move on with your life with a clean conscience. I attached a article that will help you in you current situation, that highlights these points: After one marriage partner has been unfaithful, how can mates rebuild trust?

They should (1) be honest with each other; (2) work as a team; (3) replace old habits with new ones; and (4) know when to let go of resentment, seeking to heal the breach...

http://wol.jw.org/en/wol/d/r1/lp-e/2012326#h=0:0-3...

There is hope Isa 55:6,7 says: " Search for Jehovah while he may be found.+

Call to him while he is near.

7 Let the wicked man leave his way

And the evil man his thoughts;

Let him return to Jehovah, who will have mercy on him,

To our God, for he will forgive in a large way."

This is not to say your are evil but in our imperfect state we all do evil things at times.

For more information you can go to JW.ORG

Dear God Almighty Says ....

If your sins are above than a Mountain, I can forgive them completely if u promise before me to not again do that in future.

Therefore God Almighty forgiveness is above than our imagination.

For this u should continuously Day and Night Pray from God Almighty He will definitely forgive you.

I guess you keep posting this in the hope that one of them will see it.

Please seek professional help and stop asking this question on Yahoo.

PS: Wake up, be wise and think about your children.

It would do no good to destroy your family time to forgive yourself.