Husband wants to see kids but only on his terms. ..?

Question

My husband left me and our two boys about 2 weeks ago and moved in with another woman. He wants to see our boys now however doesn't want to do it on my terms.  I have already spoke with an attorney which told me to NOT let him take the kids until we get paperwork filed which week prob be in 2 weeks.  And my parents don't want me to meet him alone. .. he has an anger issue and has hit and choked me before so they are uncomfortable with me meeting him alone woth the boys.  I told him he can meet with my father and he van play with the boys or whatever.  There will be no interference from my dad or anything. (Which I can understand why he is apprehensive since it is my dad nt he had talked to my dad since leaving and my dad had been nothing but reasonable with him.) But he absolutely doesn't want to do that.  He wants me to meet him and him take the kids for a day.  I just don't feel comfortable with that. Since its only been 2 wks will it look bad on my part that he had not seen them when I have made am effort and been advised by my attorney (and his mom) to not do so?

P · Answer

He ultimately made the mistake of moving out too quickly.  That said I would still try to expedite some type of informal custody legal agreement to keep things calm.  You could always meet him at a public place.  You both are tied together for the rest of your lives through your kids, and while attorneys will want big legal fights to make money and parents will worry, at the end of the day you have to figure out how to work together to raise your kids.  You can start doing it now or after fighting in court for a few years.

Jo · Answer

It's kind of a no-brainer to do what your attorney tells you.  I would think the attorney would know better than total strangers out here.

Starfish · Answer

You "don't feel comfortable".

That is enough of a reason for ANY mother to do what she thinks is best.

I hear no anger or vindictiveness in your tone, so I don't believe you are doing things out of spite.

Listen to your gut....many mothers have not and wished they did.

Pick This · Answer

A lot of people get bad advice here because they can't afford an attorney.  You have a lawyer - do what your lawyer says!!!

I just cannot imagine why anyone would pay $120 an hour to someone and NOT take their advice.  SMH.

Biff · Answer

tell him it's your way or the highway - you don;t have to give in to his terms - if he doesn't do what you say, shut the door in his face/hang up on him

Bradley · Answer

Nope tell him you are no longer going to tolerate his abusive crap and unless he does things on your terms he will never see those kids again.

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Husband wants to see kids but only on his terms. ..?

6 Answers