Will my husband ever get over this?

Question

I got laid off from my job and we could no longer make the mortgage payments. The lender was going to foreclose. Then I got a letter telling me my mortgage had been paid off. I thought it was a mistake so I went to the lender, a bank, and ask them about it.  They told me my ex husband who was still on the mortgage had came in and paid off the mortgage. We had a friendly divorce but I NEVER expected this.  I got the house in the divorce but I had to keep up the mortgage payments.

I called my ex husband and ask him why he paid off the mortgage.  He told me that since he was still on the mortgage, his credit was being harmed by my not making the mortgage payments.  I promised him I would pay him back the money he used to payoff the mortgage.  He told me I did NOT OWE him anything.  There are not words to express how great it feels to not EVER have to worry about having a home to come home to.  Can anyone relate to the way I feel?

However, I had an unexpected problem. My current husband is very upset about the way things turned out.   I told him it did not have ANYTHING to do with him.  He should be happy that WE now have a free and clear home.  I told him if it bothers him so much, he can pay back my ex husband the money he used to pay off the mortgage.  He has not mentioned anything about this since.

Do you think he will get over this and let us both get on with our lives with NO MORTGAGE PAYMENTS EVER.

Noiamnotagain · Accepted Answer

Wow, what a lovely result! Well done. And very nice of your ex.
Your current hubby has to swallow this, in fact he should've called your ex and took him for a beer or 2. If his pride is hurt that bad perhaps he can set up a standing order and pay back your ex.
Sounds like just pride, he will get over it!

David · Answer

Tell him if he is upset about it, he saves up the money and pay him back in future. It's good that he paid it off. Being Screwed by lenders isn't something you want in your life. It actually was a blessing that your ex did so. He will get over it, if he doesn't then it's not your problem.

Jackrabbit Slim · Answer

You should be thrilled that your husband is a proud man.  He obviously feels like fulfilling his responsibility to you is very important to him.  The fact that your ex stepped in and took care of it has got to sting.  He will probably get over it.  Just understand that his attitude may not be pleasant, but his unpleasant attitude is an indicator or a quality you can be glad he has.

Mary · Answer

I hurt your present husband' pride to have another man "take care of things". Don't bring it up and he will get over it.

P · Answer

It's his problem, not yours.  If he wants to pay your ex back then so be it, otherwise he has no right to let it effect you in any way.

idtshadow · Answer

you should pay him back and hold up your end of the agreement and your current husband should support this decision

Anonymous · Answer

This is not a "real estate" question - it's a "marital relations" question.

Andy · Answer

Pls answer my question again i couldnt fit it all in and its important

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Will my husband ever get over this?

8 Answers