Can you help me piece together my puzzle in life?

I have been striving to do what I feel like want in life and one of them is to have a second family, one that I can trust when I m mature enough when I leave the house so I won t be alone. I ve already found two individuals being like two older siblings to me. The problem is that I won t know them in two years as we separate and will be gone on our own paths. That s one of the fears I have in life. Yes, it s the reality, but there will be no other way I can find something like this again.

Also, I hate the fact that laziness has overcome me. I feel like I lost a part of myself by not doing my homework because of laziness. Here s a theory I developed for myself: I try doing my homework to the best I can, but the time it takes for me to do it is so long that I can t pass it in on time. This them brings me into four words which seemingly haunts me "I m not good enough." I won t be able to be who I want to be because of what I m doing now. I think the only way to get rid of this curse is to just prove myself somehow and then it will be gone, but I can t. And I really hate it!

I will accept any piece of advice, visualization, or anything to help me piece together the puzzle. People say you have to find this out on your own, but my heart is telling me to reach out to others for help. Thank you.