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Is our reason for missing my cousin's engagement valid?
My wife and I have long been planning and saving for this trip and we fly out on the morning of April 24th. We will be gone for a month out of country and so a lot of preparation and packing will be needed to be done. My cousin happened to get engaged over the weekend and is having her party with her family on April 23rd. It's not that we don't want to go, but this party was only just announced today and so we were subsequently invited just today. I said we would try because it's literally the night before we leave for our trip, but that it doesn't seem likely as we will be needing to pack and prepare for our trip. Typically people who get engaged and throw themselves and engagement party give their guests at least a month's notice, so this is unfair for us that it's this short notice. Not sure if I should be feeling bad cause I don't. They could have honestly waited during June or July when the weather gets better here as well.
FYI - April 22nd we're going to another wedding and can't pack during then either.
For the record the same cousin was also unable to attend my wife's bridal shower a few years ago, and it was my aunt (the same cousin's mother) who threw it.
Additionally, the same cousin was originally telling people to expect an invite for her upcoming engagement to be sometime June or July.
We're still going to buy a gift for the couple (weather we attend or not), but our other dilemma is they're throwing the engagement party at a venue nearly 90 minutes away from where we live.
24 Answers
- loyerd6Lv 44 years agoFavorite Answer
I think it's very valid. Since you going to another wedding on 4/22 and leaving on 4/24 that really does not leave you much time. Since this is the engagement party and not the wedding, please do not feel bad about not being able to attend. Let them know that you would love to be there, however you have other plans.
- LizLv 74 years ago
"Not sure if I should be feeling bad cause I don't."
Pretty sure you do, otherwise you wouldn't be asking random strangers on the internet to validate your decision. You and I both know you could pack your stuff for your trip three or four days beforehand.
- friskymisty01Lv 74 years ago
well it's your choice what you decide to do..obviously you've already thought about it and are NOT attending* So, just say that to them..sorry but it's such short notice...uve planned trip for months..and have alot to do*...also a wedding to attend on the 22nd. Enough said* let it go*
- Ashley MLv 74 years ago
An invitation is not a court summons. You are never REQUIRED to attend an event like this. If they get mad, that's their problem.
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- KellyLv 74 years ago
Proceed with your trip and don't feel bad about it, this was planned well in advance (your trip). Just give your regrets to them and only explain why if you want to.
They also don't need to schedule it around your availability or when you think it will be a better time. They may have picked the day they did for a reason that well has nothing to do with you.
Edit - your updates are making you look petty af.
- RosalieLv 74 years ago
An engagement party is like a birthday party- it isn't the wedding.
Had you announced that you would rather pack than attend her wedding, that would be one thing- but an engagement party is a party. And an invitation is an invitation that can be politely declined without an attached schedule.
Stop discussing what you're doing and when, and just say "we'd love to" or "we'd love to be there, but we can't". Your social schedule is yours, and if she is going to have a tantrum over this, she may not make it to the wedding. Get her a copy of this and wrap it up as an engagement present - it will either save her life, or gather dust on a shelf. Her choice.
- my 2 centsLv 74 years ago
No, your reason is not valid. You can show up for an hour or two and wish them well.
- BluntLv 74 years ago
They don't need your permission or approval to host a party, get over yourself!
And all you have to say is: congratulations! Sorry to miss as we will be on our way to our trip, but looking forward to see you and congratulate you in person upon our return.
- Jenny LynneLv 74 years ago
Very valid and reasonable. You have been planning for this trip for a long time and family knows that. I wouldn't mention wedding on the 22nd. Normally couples do not plan their engagement parties and an engagement party is not a "must have"; however, many times friends of the couple get together and have a simple, non-formal get together. If she wants a family get-together, fine. Your date has been set for a long time and they are or should be aware of this. Conflict of dates-simple-don't go. If she gets mad, her problem, would be very immature. She should think what she would do in the same situation. Don't over-think, let it go and look forward to your trip.
