How long does it take to get over a divorce? The relationship lasted just over 10 years altogether?

For each couple, it is different. If you have children, you will most likely have continual contact (which is healthy for the children). The nicer you both are to one another, the better the children will handle relationships in their own life. Divorce is worse than death. In death, there is closure...with divorce, it is an ongoing process of feelings surfacing each time you see your ex-husband. If you have children, you may notice similar traits, looks, etc., that is a constant reminder of the person you married and "what was." The best, most healthy way to approach this, would be to attempt to remain friends. Accept the fact that he will get involved with someone else (and in many cases, the new woman will be jealous of you) for no reason other than the fact that you were a "former" wife. Harboring memories of the "past" will only cause you more reason not to move on, remain hurt, angry, etc. The sooner you realize that "there is life after a divorce," and sometimes a much better life with another person, you will no longer think about your ex-husband. Hindsight (for some strange reason) only brings up "good memories" and it is easy to think fondly of him. Post messages around your house with statements about the "bad" times, or the quirks that may have driven you nuts, or the way you felt when he first left you...bring forth some crummy memories to aid you in realizing your past wasn't always "great" memories (and it isn't "your" fault). If you are miserable, seek counseling and learn what it is that you cannot seem to let go of. You might find that it is not "your ex" that you are mourning...it may be some deep-rooted feeling from something else that took place in your life at an earlier date that is causing you to "long for him" when, in fact, it isn't the person but a factor you are unaware of that is causing you to desire him. You both broke up for a reason; re-examine that and try to seek assistance in moving on. Good luck.

Maybe five minutes after you walk out of the courthouse.

Everybody is different. As a rule of thumb, expect the adjustment period to last one month for every year you were together. The worst thing you can do is rush into a new relationship now. It is doomed to failure. I know you feel so alone now, so incomplete. When you feel whole and complete by yourself, you are ready to share yourself with another.

Depends on how emotionally destructive it was and what kind of help you're getting to reintegrate your emotions. In a fairly agreeable divorce where one gets into counseling immediately it can take a year or less. Some other situations would require a lot more time and a lot more treatment to be emotionally sound again.

It all depends on the situation and the people involved. If it (the divorce) were a long time in the making and set both people free, there may be a more positive reaction than if it were relatively sudden and unexpected. Between those extremes, there are all kinds of possibilities.

Ok, re-read this, and realized I shouldn't write while sleepy.

for me, it took a couple of years. Others may take longer.

It varies based on your personality.

For many, it's a grieving process that

on average takes about two years to

truly "come out of" (very similar to

the passing away of a loved one).

I have one friend whose marriage

lasted barely a year and a half,

but after five years appears to

be devastated still, and another

friend that was married for over

12 years, yet six months after

divorce appears to be very

very much over it.

It depends on so many things; how much help do you have to move through the pain/grief? Did you initiate the divorce? Do you have a good support system and/or are you willing/able to reach out to create/find one? Do you have access to therapy?

I remember reading somewhere that it takes at least the same amount of time as the relationship to truly be over someone and twice as long if the relationship had abuse

It depends. I have a friend who divorced after 27 years. Her ex-husband started dating before the papers were signed and before she moved out.