Choices. ?

Question

I'll cut this as short as possible. I'm engaged to the most supportive woman alive I have an amazing 4 year old son but I have choices.

My mother has agrophobia (can't leave the house) alcoholism, she's been through watching her family fall apart due to an ex husband killing several people in drug related scenes. I'm not saying alcoholism is justified but understandable. I've managed to get her to leave the house and take walks up the local woods with my son (sober) and hang washing out when I'm not there. But this is 5 years of emotional support. I'm the only person who can/will care for her. But it's getting to the point where I've lost my friends as she's more important, I quit my job last year as she turned suicidal and moved in with her but the progress has been jumped back so far since he's been released from prison early. He turned up at the house aggressive when I wasn't there and she hasn't left the house since (just over a year) I've hunted him down and basically told him that was his one escape. He knows there won't be another.

I know it's not selfish but I cannot join the military as I've wanted to do before my son was born until I know she's OK. But I cant get support from the government and if I leave I know I'll basically be killing her. I have my own life to live but I cant leave my mother. Sorry that wasn't short at all and there's still so many details to add

? · Accepted Answer

maybe you shouldnt stay with her if shes going to be like that

Pearl L · Answer

i would just do what you need to do

Judy and Charlie · Answer

I have read your question with a lot of interest.

For some reason, you have failed to get your mother into inpatient psychiatric hospitalization...even when she was suicidal.  And so my question is why do you ALLOW this to go on?

This woman who is otherwise healthy is unable and unwilling to function.  This is a solid basis for psychiatric hospitalization.
And if she has Agoraphobia and is unable to leave the house, how in hell can she get alcohol?  Obviously, you enable her and get it for her.

How will you support your four year old son if you go into the military?  Remember that the military benefits are for dependent family members and you are not married.

And so I seriously think you need to take a step back here and take a long and hard look at your mother's condition and how you may be contributing to it.  And making your mother 100% functional and her home safe, should be your first priority.  And think about your son's future, too.

Trending News

Choices. ?

3 Answers