Did I cheat on my wife at the strip club by finishing in my pants?

Giving it a word changes nothing.  Either your wife accepts it as reasonable or she doesn't.  You want someone else to give a definitive "No it is OK"  which you could use to browbeat your wife.  THIS someone else isn't going to make any judgment either way.

Yes. You had an orgasm with another woman. That's cheating. Married men do not belong in strip clubs.

Your first **** up was thinking it was morally okay to go to a strip club...while married...and getting a lap dance from another woman. Wonder how many vows and promises you broke there. 

Yes, you cheated, but don't be upset when your wife finds out. You did it to yourself. Classical "thinking with my penis" move. 

OK, you need to change your whole perspective.  A married man has no business visiting a strip club, ever.  A married man does not visit any club without his wife.

See, you f*cked up, big time, before you ever left home.  At the point of time where you walked IN to the strip club, you might as well have gotten a lap dance and (really) enjoyed it.  The damage was done just by entering the strip club.

Or as the saying goes, "If you're gonna do the time, might as well do the crime."

That is between you and your wife to set 

the parameters of your relationship. My 

guess is, to her, just being in the strip club 

is going to fall into the "cheating" category.

[pretending this isn't a fake question]