vondahl

My fiance and I were having an interesting conversation earlier. He said that if I were to hypothetically go to a bar/club and make out with some other woman (one time thing, didn't mean anything, etc.) he wouldn't care. I asked him what made that any different than if I were to be in the exact same situation except kiss a man instead of a woman. We agreed that either way, it's being unfaithful. But he couldn't give me a straight answer as to why it wouldn't really bother him if I were to make out with a woman instead of a man. He eventually came to the conclusion that he wouldn't feel particularly threatened if it were a woman, but that another man in that situation is competition and he would be afraid of losing me.

I asked a couple guys I work with the same question and they basically agreed with what my fiance said, although one of them added the only reason he'd be upset is that he wasn't invited to watch haha.

So, just out of curiosity, how does everyone feel about this kind of situation? How is it different? Is it different to you? Would you be bothered?

This is probably going to sound really silly, but my fiance is leaving for bootcamp tomorrow and last night when he and I were trying to sleep, I started crying really hard. But it was different than "regular" crying - I felt like I was going to vomit, and I was having trouble breathing and my chest hurt. I was trying to slow my breathing and relax, but it wasn't helping. Is there anything I can do to help? Breathing techniques? I know it will be hard to say goodbye tomorrow but is there anything I can do to help my body not react that way?

My fiance is going to be leaving for the Navy at the end of October. We informally decided to get married sometime (probably within a year) and therefore informally decided that we're engaged now. So there was no ring or actual proposal - he said he would "propose" to me later on when he had a ring.

Anyway, we were in his room and I went to look for chapstick. He keeps it on one of the shelves in his closet. Sometimes it gets pushed under a stack of shirts, so I lifted up his shirts and I found a really pretty engagement ring/wedding band set (it wasn't in a box). I didn't say anything to him. I'm really happy and excited, but at the same time I feel like a kid who found their Christmas presents! I want to wear the ring now, but I don't want to ruin any plans he had.

Should I say something to him? Or should I just pretend I didn't accidentally find it and then wait for him to give it to me?

My fiance is going to be leaving for the Navy at the end of October. We informally decided to get married sometime (probably within a year) and therefore informally decided that we're engaged now. So there was no ring or actual proposal - he said he would "propose" to me later on when he had a ring.

Anyway, we were in his room and I went to look for chapstick. He keeps it on one of the shelves in his closet. Sometimes it gets pushed under a stack of shirts, so I lifted up his shirts and I found a really pretty engagement ring/wedding band set (it wasn't in a box). I didn't say anything to him. I'm really happy and excited, but at the same time I feel like a kid who found their Christmas presents! I want to wear the ring now, but I don't want to ruin any plans he had.

Should I say something to him? Or should I just pretend I didn't accidentally find it and then wait for him to give it to me?

Battle: Los Angeles

or The Adjustment Bureau

Do you make them adulterous? Ugly? Fat? Burn their house down? Use bad karma powers?

Sorry about the length! I really need some advice.

There was a guy (I'll call him Fred) I liked since I met him in 4th grade. I thought he wasn't interested in me all those years, so in my junior year of high school, I started dating someone (Bob).

Although I honestly did like Bob, Fred was always in my mind. I always wanted to be with Fred more than anyone else; Bob was kind of just filling a void.

So Fred and I had a couple classes together that year, and we became good friends. It became fairly clear that Fred had strong feelings for me. I wasn't entirely sure, but I knew that I wasn't happy with Bob and that I should take a chance with Fred.

I broke up with Bob about 5 months after we started dating, and then starting dating Fred a month later. Bob was really crushed (I told him the truth why I was breaking up with him), and I felt awful even though I was much happier without him.

I was physically faithful to Bob, but in an emotional sense, I was quite unfaithful. I was in love with Fred, but stayed with Bob until I was more certain things with Fred would work out. I guess my mentality was that if Fred didn't like me, I'd always have Bob to fall back on. It is wrong, I'll admit.

Which brings me to my question. Even though it's been 9+ months since I talked to Bob, I still feel somewhat guilty for being emotionally insincere and unfaithful.

Should I apologize to Bob? I'm not trying to salvage a relationship or even be friends, I just feel like I should atone for what I did to him. I was never fully committed to that relationship, and it's wrong to do that to another person.

It's an abstract thing to apologize for. I don't know if it would do any good. I guess it would make me feel better inside, but I don't want to hurt Bob's feelings even more by telling him that I never really wanted to be with him in the first place.

Should I say I'm sorry, or should I focus on trying to forgive myself instead?

In the past, I've had several boyfriends. With some of the more meaningful ones, everything would be going great and then they'd break it off out of the blue.

I've gotten over the painful breakups, etc. but I have to admit that after it happened a couple times, I can't help but to get afraid that my current boyfriend will do the same thing.

This might sound silly, but I know in my heart, without a doubt, that he is the one. And the feeling is mutual.

We've been together for a while now and everything has been perfect.

I guess when I'm laying in bed and can't sleep, I just worry that he'll randomly change his mind, that something will go wrong, and that he'll leave me.

Is there anything I can do to resolve this issue? Logically, I'm quite sure this won't happen (my other boyfriends had some severe emotional problems that took a toll on me, but this one is "normal") and at the same time, I'm emotionally terrified of being abandoned by him.

We have a rat, and we'll be getting a puppy in about a week. I was wondering if anyone has some experience with teaching the dog to get along with small animals? We'd like for them to be friends :)

What are some good tips?

I don't want to cut off a lot of hair all the time, so what are some affordable products (like conditioners?) that work well to treat heat-damaged hair? I use a straightener every day and I don't plan to stop, but I do want my hair to be a little less dry.

One of my friends recommended Aussie deep conditioner or something like that. Does it work?

Where did this tradition come from? :)

We're going to be getting her in a couple months, and we don't know what to name her! What are some cute names for a female collie? Nothing too girly, but something sweet :)

that was the opposite gender, would you have sex with it?

Is this love? Is this love? Is this love that I'm feeling?

BQ: Who's your favorite Marley?

So I have a guy friend who I've liked for a long time, and I'm sure he feels the same even though he hasn't said it.

I don't know how this started, but we just like to wrestle and play-fight.

But we like to actually hit each other. I'm not saying we throw punches, but we'll definitely get into it to where we're rolling around the room, he'll throw me over a couch, and we're kinda hurting each other because of the way we play.

I mean, I do bruise rather easily, but when he grabs my arms really hard sometimes it leaves marks. I know it SOUNDS really bad, but I guess we have sadomasochistic tendencies.. but not sexually haha.

It's like Fight Club, but not to that extent because we're just messing around and we don't draw blood or anything too bad.

I know a lot of people don't understand the mentality those who find fun in pain, but I mean, is this normal?

Does anyone else like to roughhouse?

This isn't the only thing we do. We have a normal friendship that is taking its natural course. We just happen to enjoy periodically getting into brawls.

Good or bad? What does this say about us? Him? He's a really good person. He would never ACTUALLY hit me. We're just playing really rough!

Hmm? I want one for my birthday.. can you explain to me in explicit detail what a blumpkin is? It sounds fun!

I live in a slightly more rural area, and across the street from my house is a court. Some of the people who live down that road have dogs. During nicer weather, one of the people locks their dog outside at night, and it will bark for hours. Sometimes it will cause other dogs to start barking. It's really frustrating because I like to sleep with my window open, but once the dog starts barking it's impossible to fall asleep.

Last night I was up til probably 2 or later because, even with a shut window, I could still hear that one dog barking.

How should I handle this situation? I've lived here for about 8 years now and this is the case nearly every summer.

I was so mad last night I was tempted to try to localize the house with the dog and tell the people to make it shut up, but I don't think I should. Would it be better to call the police when it happens again? I'm really sick of this person being so inconsiderate.

your girlfriend gets on top of you when you're kissing?

BQ: Favorite position?

Primarily in or affecting the US...

I have the earthquake in Haiti. What else?

Got it on? :)