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cgspitfire

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  • Anyone been under contract with a vendor and then they went out of business?

    With the economy being what it is, I'm just wondering how many of you brides out there have had the nightmare of having one of your vendors go out of business. Our original caterer went out of business but we were fortunate enough to have gotten our deposit back. Our second caterer went under new management and the new manager wouldn't honor the previous contract so refunded our deposit. We were lucky both times and got our funds back but I've heard horror stories of brides going in for their fittings just to find out the store went out of business and they couldn't get their money back.

    3 AnswersWeddings1 decade ago
  • Am I wrong for not allowing "Mom" or telling them why it's not a good idea?

    We have four children, the two oldest (9 and 14) are from my husband's previous marriage. Recently the two oldest kids approached me and asked me if they could call me "Mom". While touched by the gesture, I was uncomfortable with the idea. I did make sure that I told them both how much I loved them and that I really did appreciate their gesture but felt they should probably reserve "Mom" for their biological mother. I did suggest that we could find another name if they would like that. They seemed OK with that but my husband told me later that evening that I had hurt their feelings saying no. Apparenlty they told him that they feel like I'm more of a mom to them than their biological mother.

    We work hard to keep communication open in our home but this is one time where we don't feel like I can tell the kids why it's not a good idea. We also work hard not to bash or say anything negative about their mother. The sad truth is that things would be really tough on the kids if she found out; especially if she knew it was their idea.

    Please understand this also has nothing to do with the fact that they're not biologically my children. I could care less as I love them all the same. If we could, we'd already have the kids in our home full time. Just knowing it would put the kids in the firing line with their mother is enough for me to want to protect them. On the other hand, I feel like I may have unintentionally slammed a door on the kids by telling them no. So, am I wrong not to allow the kids to call me "Mom'? Is there a way I can tell them why I don't think it's a good idea without sounding like I'm bashing their mom? Or is this one of those issues to let time sort out on its own?

    12 AnswersParenting1 decade ago
  • Are we wrong with allowing our kids not to go to church?

    My husband has two children, ages 12 and 6. Their mother decided to become Mormon a year ago when she secretly remarried (even the kids didn't know!). My husband asked her not to force the kids to go but was ok with it.

    Over the summer their mom asked us to take them to church and demanded it be a Mormon church. My husband broke from the church years ago and neither of us are comfortable going. We made arrangements with a very trusted friend to take the kids if they chose to go however they said they feel forced to go and were adamant about not going. We left the decision up to them. Now their mother says we're impeeding their religious growth and that we didn't take them to spite her. My husband and I are all for religion but do not believe it should be forced on anyone, even children. Were we wrong for not taking them even though we don't agree with this church? The kids wouldn't even touch their Bibles all summer which tells me something's wrong!

    16 AnswersParenting1 decade ago
  • Are we wrong with allowing our kids not to go to church?

    My husband has two children, ages 12 and 6. Their mother decided to become Mormon a year ago when she secretly remarried (even the kids didn't know!). My husband asked her not to force the kids to go but was ok with it.

    Over the summer their mom asked us to take them to church and demanded it be a Mormon church. My husband broke from the church years ago and neither of us are comfortable going. We made arrangements with a very trusted friend to take the kids if they chose to go however they said they feel forced to go and were adamant about not going. We left the decision up to them. Now their mother says we're impeeding their religious growth and that we didn't take them to spite her. My husband and I are all for religion but do not believe it should be forced on anyone, even children. Were we wrong for not taking them even though we don't agree with this church? The kids wouldn't even touch their Bibles all summer which tells me something's wrong!

    20 AnswersReligion & Spirituality1 decade ago
  • Where can I find the effects of operating an overweight vehicle?

    I need to find hard data on the effects of 1/2- and 3/4-ton trucks when overloaded. Not just with a trailer but with inserts, tanks, etc. I'm having an arguement with my boss in regards to the new trucks he ordered and exceeding GVWR. He thinks we're saving money but I say we'll ultimately be spending more in repairs as well as putting our guys at risk. I've not had any luck with NHTSA and the like. Any recommendations and suggestions would be helpful!

    3 AnswersMaintenance & Repairs1 decade ago
  • Where can I find the effects of operating an overweight vehicle?

    I need to find hard data on the effects of 1/2- and 3/4-ton trucks when overloaded. Not just with a trailer but with inserts, tanks, etc. I'm having an arguement with my boss in regards to the new trucks he ordered and exceeding GVWR. He thinks we're saving money but I say we'll ultimately be spending more in repairs as well as putting our guys at risk. I've not had any luck with NHTSA and the like. Any recommendations and suggestions would be helpful!

    1 AnswerSafety1 decade ago
  • For the moms: When did you notice you no longer had a personal identity beyond "so-and-so's mom"?

    Don't get me wrong, I love being a mother but I find it hard to believe how many people seem to have forgotten that I have a name! Maybe it's because I waited until I was older (33) to have my first child and was use to having my own identity. Now, even people who have known me for awhile say, "This is ******'s mom."

    7 AnswersFamily1 decade ago
  • Why do people feel step parents shouldn't be parents?

    I recently posted a question in regards to the kids' bilogical mother giving our son a cell phone which caused quite a few issues over the summer... including making the youngest child feel she was not loved by her mother. I was amazed at how many people said that as a step mother, I should not even be involved in the decisions or disiplinary actions against the children or voice anything to their mother. If you've ever had children, bilogical or step, you know that if you and your significant other are not on the same page when it comes to raising children, you end up sending them mixed signals and you end up with more issues than when you started. How many parents out there, especially in blended families, truly feel that step parents don't have a right to be involved in their children's lives?

    14 AnswersParenting1 decade ago
  • Returning to San Diego after a 1 1/2 year absence... hubby's never been. Any new gotta sees?

    I grew up in SD so I'm familiar with the normal tourist traps and gotta see places. Anything new and exciting open up within the last 18 months that we should check out while we're there in November? Please keep in mind we're traveling with our son who will be 5 months so no clubs!

    3 AnswersSan Diego1 decade ago
  • Are we right to tell their mother no to the cell phone when the kids are with us?

    My husband has two children, ages 6 and 11. Their mother sends the oldest to us with a pre-paid cell phone. We've had several issues including his staying up at night to play games on the phone. Also, when he gets in trouble, he calls mom, tells her part of the story and usually not even close to the truth. Last, he's run the phone out of minutes on several occasions and cannot account for the time. Those phone are quite expensive to recharge! He's proven to us he's just not mature enough to handle the responsibility of having a cell phone. Another concern is the fact that their mom won't call to talk to the youngest child which breaks our daughter's heart. We have never not allowed the children to call their mother when they're with us and we do not listen in on their conversations. There's no reason she cannot call the house phone our cells to talk with the kids. Are we within our rights to tell her no to sending our son to us with a cell phone? Any advice on the situation?

    17 AnswersParenting1 decade ago
  • For step-parents... How do you deal with completely different parenting styles?

    My husband has two children from a previous marriage, ages 6 and 11 years. They live with their mother in another state so our time with them is limited, although very much cherished! Our problem is that in our home, there are rules and consequences. In their mother's home, there are some rules and it depends on her mood if there's any consequences. This makes it very difficult on the children and frustrating for the entire family. Any parents out there going through the same issues?

    Please don't suggest that we lighten up on them. We're not restrictive... just basic life rules like washing your hands after you use the bathroom, telling us where they're going, answering us when called, looking both ways before crossing the street, etc. We love the kids and we're trying to do right by them while giving them the basic life skills they need to get by in life.

    3 AnswersParenting1 decade ago
  • How do you console a child when Mom talks to one sibling but not the other?

    We had my husband's kids (ages 6 "Suzie" and 11 "John") for six weeks this summer. Mom sent John with a pre-paid cell phone and called him every night on that or on the home phone. Even though Suzie wanted to talk with her mom, Mom never asked or stayed on the phone long enough to talk with her. If we called either the home phone or her cell phone, Mom "didn't have time" to talk to her. Needless to say, Suzie is very upset by this. We don't want to say anything negative about the kids Mom but how do you console a child who doesn't understand why Mom doesn't want to talk with her? My husband tried to talk to his ex about her behavior but she thinks we're "over protective" of our daughter and "don't care" about our son. This is not true! We love both of out children very much but hate to see either one of them hurting for a lack of attention! Does anyone else deal with a less than attentive parent? Any advice in how to console Suzie without putting her mom down would be appreciated!

    10 AnswersParenting1 decade ago