Zachary J

I am a native North Carolinian who moved to Minnesota this past year.While I love the North Star State, and I detest the attitudes espoused by many in the Old North State, my girlfriend, who I have not seen in over two years, lives there.

I do not have a car, as my family is poor and we have never had an extra car. I also made the glorious mistake of going to college and majoring in something I loved, but it is only applicable in the cities (particularly New York and D.C., as it is Euro Studies.) Ergo, in the glorious stuck-in-the-40s Mississippi River town I am in with its 8000 people and no jobs that people have not occupied for less than 15 years (and the local factory having fired me because I cannot stand for more than 6 hours,) my job prospects are limited unless the local telemarketer picks me up, and even then I am afraid of calling people usually. This is why I do not have a car or the means to pay the 500 dollars a trip to the nearest train station (which is still 83 minutes away by car.)

Because I only have ~100 dollars to live on for this trip, I already have to forgo sleeping. But I need to know if there is ANY way for me to get around the country for free, even if it's as close as Minneapolis.

(Yes, I considered indentured servitude, but it is illegal here in America, and was phased out of the British Empire a long time ago as well, oh, and removing a person's rights for any amount of time will lead to enslavement and lowered living conditions.)

Also, please do not just say "get a job" because I am trying, or go off on me for being a freeloader because again, I am more in an "I cannot do anything about this" scenario than an "I am being lazy and don't want to do anything about this" scenario.

I was dating a girl until very recently who lived in Dallas (I live in Charlotte.) I broke up with her around three weeks ago (after a two month relationship) because we had nothing in common, and this other girl who I have had a crush on for three years AND who lives 50 miles away had insinuated that she liked me. After I broke up with the first girl, I hit on the second girl for some time, and last night I asked her out. She rejected me, not because she didn't like me and want to be with me, but because I live 50 miles away and am going to France next semester. (She graduated from university last month, I will be once I return from France, essentially.) I asked her why we couldn't make it work, and she replied with a moral quandary that she has been having for some time. (I have fairly compromising morals in a relationship for both myself and the other party involved, but these were a little out of my range.) But she still seems to like me and want to be with me. Add in that I have no self-confidence at all, and no way to get around (no money and no car), and no friends.

What should I do? Should I move to where she is, despite not having any money? Should I abandon my plans to go to France and graduate? Should I assume I am not meant to be happy? (I will NOT let her go, she is too dear to me for that.) Please help me if you can.

I have seen a room full of them, but I am looking for more of an IM, a one-to-one service. I need to talk to someone, but I have no money, so a therapist won't do, and all my friends are gone.

This is the only community I am a member of that she isn't. Anyway...

I am in love with my best friend. I met her my sophomore year of college, and I was smitten with her then. Problem is, I was her first boyfriend, and she had expected less affection than I gave, which, combined with my original clinging, was a recipe for disaster. After we broke up, we maintained contact, since we were both members of the same social group and all, and we became close friends. Hell, I helped her through a crush on my roommate, who was in Japan at the time. But in October 2009, all of my friends split, each hating a different one for a different reason. During this time, she and I grew close, to the point she wanted to set me up with her former roommate because she thought that we would be good for each other. My roommate, myself, and her were the only ones left in our bracket, and for the rest of the year, she would come to our room every day. I presumed this was because of the roommate, but she has maintained contact with me.

Problem is, when I get close to someone, they become the embodiment of something to me, and when I lose that friend, they take that with them, as a connection for me to maintain. She took with me my conviction and confidence. She became that, and I could only feel those things properly when she was around or in contact. But because we had dated, and I had messed up, she described it as one of the worst experiences of her life.

I have only loved fully three times in my life, and the last two have either been shut out of my life or shut themselves out. I don't want her to be the same way, but the problem is I love her, and I constantly wish she could love me back. Hell, we make plans to take trips around the world, live out our lives together, but she insists I am not for her. I have grown up a lot these past few years, what with the things I underwent (I will always argue that college age is when most people mature, either through messing up their own lives or riding it out). And I don't want to have to shut her out too, since she'll be the third, along with my joie de vivre and patronly air, and I miss those two more than anything.

I don't need you to say "Go for it" or "Forget her" or "Detach the emotion" or any of that. I need honest advice on what you would do in this situation.

TL;DR: I am in love with my ex/best friend, but I messed up our first relationship. Should I shut her out of my life, endure the friendship, or let her know how I feel, which may make her run?

I need a program that allows for IM conversation, allows the use of Chrome, and isn't AIM or Y!IM. Also, it would be nice if it allowed multiple people to speak simultaneously (like a conversation or conference or something) and such. I know this sounds basic, but I just want some ideas. (Also, Live IM would not be all that welcome.)

I am an overweight college student who practices good hygiene and is intellectual as they come. I am a bit loud and a tad eccentric, in that I do not march to the same drum as most people (I am the only European Studies student at a college where Latin America and Africa are heavily favoured.) I am also pacifistic, but because of my loudness and the fact that I speak up when I see something wrong in society, people think I am confrontational. I will admit that I do get attached to people fairly easily, but I think that is something that there should be a tad more of instead of this whole "I will only feel close to you after seventeen years" that is the dominant force today. What about all of this makes me creepy?

Bellatrix was my girlfriend when I first came to college. I loved her, and she loved me, but I had to leave to go to Boone on the last day we could have seen one another. We were together for another two months when she abandoned me for a boy down there who was abusive, named Lofir. She left him nine months later and began dating Peter, a nice young man, I thought, whom I would have supported her dating for a while. She fell madly in love with him, however, ad when I could actually reclaim her, this summer (she cut off all contact for a while), she mentioned she did love me, and then ran back to him. Then she broke up with him because (surprise!) he had become abusive as well. So I convinced her to leave him, and she did, and she came back to me for a time. She, however, was forbidden from applying to college by her father, so I helped her do it around his back and paid her application fee and got her SATs sent here to App, as the least I could do to ensure we could be together. Her father repealed his decision, however, saying she could go to UNCG. I was frustrated with this, but OK, I thought, as long as we will be together when it is done, I don't really care. I asked her only to promise me this, after months of her telling me I was too paranoid, and that she wouldn't leave, and she could not. I asked why, since, after all, she had been telling me to calm down and that she would still love me forever. Her response was not the expected (and perfectly logical) "I might meet someone at college whom I am more meant for than you", but "I had something great with Peter and want to get that back." (Remember that Peter is abusive. It basically means that my chivalric, proper style of love is worse than being beaten daily.)

This was a year and a half ago. Since then, I have not spoken to her. Problem is, I still think about her every day, I would still do anything for her to love me again, and the reason we don't speak is because I would do anything she asked immediately, and at this point of my life, I want her to love me back. (She moved on, and actually never went to UNCG, instead opting to waste her intellect and artistic talent at a community college.)

Also, a large part of me blames me, as her father was never in support of her going to college, and I was essentially forcing her to choose between me and her family. Granted, if she had just told me that, I would have stopped, as it never occurred to me her father was THAT much of an asshole, but... what should I do? I am still in love with her, despite having not spoken to her and her having moved on, I will always love her, and compare everyone to her. Please help!

I am a socialist economically, it is my social stance I must clarify. I am pro-choice except in cases of it being used as primary birth control or when they override the wishes if a man who wants the child. I am for altering civil unions to having the same rights as marriage and letting gays have them (so the Church gets no say). I am against Affirmative Action of all kinds, and I am pro-women getting into the draft and equal pay. I do not like birth control, however, and I am against sex and violence being ubiquitous in the media.

I apologise, I simply want to know what I am...

I love this girl I dated two years ago more than anything on the planet. However, I live 100 miles from her, lack a car, and she hates long-distance relationships (we are both what most would call "clingy"). I told her I loved her more than anything, convinced her of the existence of the eternal bond between us. However, she is dating a guy down here and he treats her like slightly more than a sex doll. However, she is too forgiving of him, and wants to be with him for the next year. After that, she wishes to attend my university, while he goes to another halfway across the state. Is waiting for her the right thing to do, or should I try to move on again?

I come from America, and I have studied French to a fair extent. However, I do not want to be limited to languages with a Latin alphabet. At the same time, I would like to learn a language that is still practical and not Communist (no offense to les chinois.) Would somebody like to help me find a way to learn it? I don't have space to take such a class in my schedule, or I would. Thanks!

I am attempting to stop my question from emailing me new answers, but when I click that button, it tells me I can only extend the expiration once. (I did extend the expiration.) How do I stop it from emailing me answers?

I am sorry, but I have no non-AIM friends, and I would like to have some. I assume I have to add my AIM friends, but then I need to know if I have that capability. Sorry for wasting your time.

Look at TV. All the relationships are either "hot guy and hot girl", or if there is an overweight person involved, it is funny!

Fat love is funny?

Wow. Or movies! Notice that we do not hate Mary Kate Olsen is an idiot for her bulimic tendencies! And, if we as Americans had not become obsessed with looks, it would not have happened! Where is the "war on anorexia"? Why do we hate fat people so much?

Or intelligence! We hate smart people, too! Whenever one begins to explain something, they are told to "stop acting like a know it all!"

I always thought it was the fault of corporations, but if you have a better response, please, give it to me!

Thank you in advance!