Erika
Favorite Answer
Priority but not love more. What sucks is when his kid grows and leave he will come to you , might be too late
Dani
Yes this is normal. That's the problem with being with a guy who has had kids and a previous marriage. The new wife will always feel second best.
What you need to do is talk to him. Let him know how you feel about not being first in his life. You should come first above all else just like as if you had his child. A good marriage, a marriage that comes first creates a good family atmosphere for children. No matter if the children come from other parents. A friend of mine has two sons from a prior relationship, and her husband has a daughter from a prior relationship. What they do is work as a team putting their marriage first. They communicate and respect each others opinions. Both are great parents, spend quality times with the kids as a family, and still keep their marriage alive by doing things alone. Neither one of them feel threatened by the other person's children, the children's needs are taken care of, and they are all a happy close family.
Heather
Your husband needs to GROW UP. I don't know how old your son is, but there is NEVER a justification for putting your hands on someone. I am surprised they allowed him back in the house after the arrest. Abuse is a cycle. This cycle has already begun. If your husband thinks it is okay to put hands on your son, it will not be long before he does it to you. He either needs to admit the problem and get anger counselling, or you need to end it now, before someone gets killed. Your son will be your son forever, this man started with a 60% chance of leaving (divorce rate) and sounds like he is not the man of your dreams. The man of your dreams would understand your son is a child who needs guidance and love, not a wrestling match to the death. He would have respect for others, and protect his family from harm, not harm them. There are so many good men out there that will treat you and your son the way you deserve. Don't stay with someone you know is not right.
no1advice
I know it's a shocker to you but yes. Technically he shouldn't. Technically a husband and wife should become ONE and the kids grow up and leave the nest BUT a man (or woman) will always side with the kid they had from the other marriage. The child is their blood. He is always going to cover for him and that child will always be #1 with him but your second. That's how it works. I know I live this myself now. When you marry a man you marry is kids and ex that's the package deal you make in marrying a man with kids. When you sign up on the package deal now your lower on his totem pole. The child will always win out. One day the boy will leave and go off on his own. Dad will still pour love, money and attention but the adult child will more than likely ignore most of his attention. All the while your sitting back taking care of him and his health while the adult child ignores him. He'll still put the child first. There is just something about a bond that forms when a child is born. Yes technically you should be first......I agree....but that bond comes into the picture everytime.
Cats Rule The World
Priorities are different.
While the child deserves to be loved and nurtured, this does NOT mean spoiling and allowing bad behavior.
He should NOT be disrespecting you, blowing off plans with you, or mistreating you in any way.
Talk to your husband about how you feel. Don't accuse, just tell him how YOU feel and how his behavior affects your marriage.