His other children coming to live with us?

When you hook up with a man who has children from another relationship, it is a package deal. It is their father's responsibility to take care of them, especially since their mother isn't taking care of them.

You can love these children if you give them a chance and you can make a big influence in their lives.

First off, what will the children's mother say about this idea? If she is against the idea you could have a custody battle on your hands. Secondly, the children and what they need comes before any wedding, any additional children or further wants and needs. If they really are living in such bad conditions then do what has to be done to get them in a safe and healthy enviroment. I don't think it has anything to do with selfishness, just what is the right thing to do. Look at it from your child's view. Would you want your child living like that for another year or two just so you can have a nice wedding or would you rather know for sure your child was being taken care of? I'm sure you'll make the right choice.

Take a look at what you are saying here before you say anything to him. Putting a wedding before his kids [his flesh and blood] ,may cause tension!

1st. His children are more important then a wedding. Them being in a loving, clean home with you 2 as good examples should be a 1st priority.

2. The 3 kids you have already need taking care of 1st before another enters the picture.

3. You love all of them and there is no reason you can't have a smaller wedding. You have a family there that loves you and in my eyes [for me anyway] that is what is really, really important. Why does another baby being born have to be right then? Just relax, count your blessings and take care of your kids.

I wish we had kids ! I also gave up my dream wedding to marry my husband when he was on leave. Love is what matters in the end.

Take care and I wish you the very best!

It dosent sound like you're very committed to taking them. Thats Ok, you should really be honest with yourself and everyone else about it though.

First of all is their Mom willing to just let you take them? If they've been living with her full time why take them now? Because the house is messy, that's a really weak excuse. Their Mom probally dosent work because she takes care of two small children. If you take on all these kids you won't be working either and your house might be a bit messy too. You do realise that most of the child care will fall on you.

My advice is if the kids are fine leave them with their Mom and continue to pay child support. Get married, hold off on another baby until you're sure of what you want for your child and your fiance's children.

Yes, you're being selfish. You all think the kids should live with you, a 2 1/2 and 5 year old are not that expensive and he wouldn't have to pay child support anymore. Postpone the wedding until you can afford it, or do it smaller.

Again, how old are you?

Absolutely, you are SELFISH! You're a mother yourself; you should know that kids come first---ALWAYS! You'd be willing to have your husband's first 2 kids live with a mother who could not provide for them if it meant you could have your dream wedding? What's wrong with you? You're selfish and inconsiderate, that's a given, but when it affects the kids, that's when it's unacceptable.

Jesus, what is going on? PEOPLE, IF YOU AREN'T WILLING TO SACRIFICE FOR YOUR CHILDREN, DON'T HAVE ANY OR DON'T MARRY SOMEONE WHO HAS SOME!

His first responsibility is to his children. Period. As a good father he should want to make sure his children are safe, happy and in a good environment.

If you love him and are committed to him, then you accept his responsibilities too. You can't ask him to choose between his children's welfare and a wedding dress for you.

A man who cares for his children is valuable. A man who will sacrifice his needs for his children's is valuable. You are lucky to have him. It proves he'll be a good father to your child as well.

I know many girls dream of that perfect wedding -- but a great marriage is even more important than the perfect wedding.

Big family or small family, that is your question.

The way the question is worded, it sounds like you want to put yourself/marriage/family before these kids. After all who can blame you.

But look at it this way. Right now the are young, and will be able to adapt to you quickly.

My suggestion. Welcome them home, make it so they remember and love you when your gone. Because they are what matters after everything is said and done, no one will remember what type of wedding you had. Just that you loved them, and loved their father. And they looked towards you as a mom.

So you want this guy to let his two young kids stay in an unsafe situation so that you can spend that money on a one day party?

You sound completely selfish and if I were your man I would seriously reconsider marrying you! His kids come first!

You should be ashamed of your self!

Talk to your husband, not us.

If you are planning on getting married you have to be able to work out the easy stuff. This is one of the easy ones.....

Marriage is hard work. Brutally honest and open communication is what makes successful relationships.

Good luck! :-)