It was Just a FLING, But Now I'm Confused If I've Fallen For Him Or It's Just Lust? Matured answers NEEDED!

Hi Cutie,

this is going to sound harsh, but you should stop texting him. Give yourself a break from this pattern. It will force him to seek you out and contact you.

If he truly is attracted to you, wants more than a fling and the occasional dinner and evening out, he needs to communicate this. It seems he is not wanting to force boundaries, since you live in separate states.

During one of your conversations, when this plan works and he calls you and asks you out, mention to him how much you have enjoyed your time together and if he missed you when you stopped texting him. What is his response?

Tell him about the other guys that text and call you, and how you enjoy that contact, that affection. Let him know it is important to you. If he is concerned with your needs, he will talk with you about it.

I don't know much more about your situation than what you wrote here. But it seems you are both hesitant to discuss something that is frequently on your mind(s).

Be confident. Know what you want and achieve it. A truly mature and stable man will be drawn to your confidence.

good luck ~

I am happy for you having love in mind ,lustful happiness is blissful. Keeping in perspective is maturity.

He being divorced and 41 may contribute to some uncertainty of his nature falling in love again. Not responding to text or making some forward response is worrying. It maybe a feeling of commitment. If you reassure him of friendship or sexual needs/wants from your point of view then airing feelings is healthy. It maybe a consideration for a thought along a long term process of equal friendship b4 yous decide to take it further. It is up to both on beliefs and hopeful engagement.

Adult sexual needs can be simple or complex I sense a little infatuation.. On his behalf if me appreciate being admired the experience and Yes would not shun a text/ phone contact etc.. away. The age difference sure is open but you are adults... Appreciate your own nurturing needs and stay in a healthy environment, air your feelings to intermediate trustworthy friend ask MUM ! if its suitable...hope that's OK.

There are a few aspects to this relationship. It looks like he is financing you in a sense that he is, as you said it :"keeping you". Of course, it depends to what extent. Does he pay your rent? Does he cover your bills? Does he send cash to your bank accounts? Or does he pay per date?

If he regards you as a kept lady, then for him it's on a very shallow level, and even if he likes you quite a bit, you may not be the only one he is dating, especially if you live in a different state then him. You can't be totally sure.

The other aspect is that you seem to be falling for him, and that might not be good for you. I suggest you make sure and be totally honest with yourself as to what you want from this relationship and this man, so you won't get hurt.

Theres love between the both of you, even if its just as lovers you guys care for one another. Just remember that he doesnt want anything serious and just have fun together and when your ready for a serious relationship talk to him and let him know how your feeling. Hope fully he'll feel the same way and you can accually have a real relationship and not a broken heart........GOOD LUCK!

You hooked up with him on vacation, he never calls, never talks about a relationship, and you consider him a "sugar daddy". Top that off with the fact that you look him up and hook up every time you go where he lives. Of course he's not ready for a relationship. He's getting everything he wants with none of the responsibility.

Sweetie, wake up. You're using him and he's using you. You get money, gifts, nights out, whatever. He gets sex when he wants it and arm candy to show off. You're a boost to his ego because he's in his 40's and has someone in their 20's on his arm. Are you positive he's not still married?

Have some respect for yourself and find a real relationship. Stop using people and allowing yourself to be used. I wish you luck.

You need to stop contacting him and move on with your life. There are plenty of guys closer to your age. If you two hook up permanently, the age gap will eventually show up and cause problems.

You need to date guys that have never married before and don't have baggage.

It's not "stuffs", it is "stuff". Since your relationship is based on sex and you both said you weren't ready for a serious relationship, don't be reading into anything he says. He's happy to hear from you because he's horny.

Gross picture, by the way.

I can understand your attraction to the guy.But with the romantic setting in Hawaii and him being good looking that does not make it love.Find someone closer to your age and get to know them

before you talk of love.

You are using this guy weather you know it or not. Don't take any thing from him and tell him up front you are only in it for fun. A man his age probably isn't in it for just fun. Be a woman and be honest with him...

i don't think you're a slut, i think you found somebody you truly care about and the people on answers are very judgemental as they are all perfect and have never made a mistake....