Should I be considered selfish for no wanting to have children?

No, your not being selfish!!...Having your own children who look alike and have all the same afflictions is at best overrated!!

If there is anything in life that last forever, and means more than anthing else it's Education and Your Health (in that order)!

Once you have your education, everything else will fall into place.

I am sure you won't realize that completely until your at that point in your life where, it's a little easier to remember what was, than what will be!

Affluence, Success, Religion, friendship are good in there own way and make life easier, but they can be swapped around substituted, or avoided!

Not all of us are rich or successfull enough to be affluent and its not hard to summize that not all people are religious.

Even children will make up a small part of your life ,with few exceptions, unless you plan on giving birth on a perpetual basis.

Just like your best friend and your asperations of moving in different directions..it's impossible to predict what will change because of our goals.

Friendships can last for long periods, but do change and can be thrown out!

Children can be adopted, and except for the fact that they won't look like your dad, or be allergic to the same things, can be as purposeful and endering as your genetic offspring.

Many, things are overated and the more you believe in an outdated belief, the more you will be dissapointed when things don't turn out like you expected (like your friend)!

That doesn't mean you can't participate later in life, or have a normal birth after your education is complete!

Surround yourself with people and friends that believe in the same things as you, and you will be half the way there!

Create your own belief system or Dos and Don'ts. You, decide what's important.

Good Luck!

I don't think so....I don't want to have children .... I like children and I would never harm a child intentionally, but being a parent is not for me..I knew from an early age that I would not be "good" at raising children,because I could only stand to be around them in small doses.( no patience). Realizing that about my self, getting pregnant would have been ,at the very least, unfair to the child.....If that makes me selfish in some peoples eyes, too bad. I have no idea why some people believe that all women should have children. They need to look at some of the headlines in the news lately..clearly there are some women that should NOT have had children.

You never said you never wanted children, it's just not where you are right now. Pursuing your dreams is not being selfish, it is living. Women have always been looked at the nurturers and care givers for children, church functions, husbands, etc. This does not mean that all women have to be stay at home moms, for those of us that have chosen to do so great. For those women who have not great. There is no biblical law that says all women must get married and have kids and stay at home with them and forget the dreams that God out in our hearts. We can do all that and pursue our dreams if that is the plan God wants for us, but if not take the opportunity you have to pursue your dreams without hesitation. This could also be a good time for you to help your friend. She is probably feeling a little saddled by the day to day life of being a mom. It is hard to give up your former life for your kids and not feel sorry for yourself from time to time. This is your time to love here and give her a helping hand when you see she needs it.

I don't think you're selfish at all.

I never wanted children of my own and I never had any. I never felt that I was just the right person to be a mother. Besides, my career allows too little time to devote to children. I have nothing against them...it's just not right for me.

Just because I'm able to reproduce doesn't mean that I'm bound by some law that says I have to.

Having children is a choice and it's one that many women make. However, there are plenty of women out there...myself included...that have a very satisfyling life without them.

Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Make your choice...just try to make sure that it is the right one.

EMT

I haven't read any other answers, so this is just from the heart.

Let me first say that I have three children and that I have been a stay at home mom for ten years.

Then let me say that no, of COURSE you are not selfish for not wanting children of your own. It would be selfish to have children that you don't really want in order to fulfill some sort of societal expectation.

You can be a giving and loving person in many, many ways. Some do through birthing, adopting, or nurturing children. That is fantastic. But others take other paths. It's ridiculous to judge somebody's selflessness on their parental status.

i don't see any reason why you would be selfish. what would be selfish is if you did have kids then spent all your time and energy bettering your career. kudos to you for wanting to have a career and life before thinking about settling down. no, all women are not expected to have children. not all women are mom type material. you can love kids all day long and be a great aunt, but that don't mean you have to be a mom. just because your goals in life didn't envolve bring children into a screwed up world does not make you selfish. it sounds to me maybe your friend kind of resents your freedom, so she is attacking you like that because she is in denial. this is very common with moms, trust me. i wouldn't want to advise you to end your friendship, but if she makes you feel bad just because you wanted a career and she wanted kids, i would say the friendship is nearing its end anyhow.

i don't know why someone would say a woman is selfish for pursuing a career and life BEFORE having children. that is crazy, not saying women who get careers after are selfish, but it makes it harder every way you look... sitter for the kids, money to pay the sitter, money for school, time away from kids for tat career. your friend, like i said probably became bitter because she found out that stay at home mom is a tough job, with out pay or much credit, no free time, and all your thoughts and actions have to be centered around one question... how will this affect my children? it just sounds like she is jealous because you are still... free in a sence.

I think your friend is being selfish herself since she is attacking you about not hanging out like you used to. You have set your own goals and are achieving them, she should be happy for you, not attacking you for it. And children are not for everybody. I dont know where people get this idea that all women are supposed to settle down and have kids. Who is making these rules? There are enough children in the world already. We humans have done a pretty good job of populating the place. Is it possible that your friend is bitter and is a little bit resentful of your freedom? Maybe she wants you to be as stuck as she is. Enjoy your time and go forward with your goals. Dont listen to your friends twisted view of life. Good luck to you.

Not at all. There are many people out there who choose not to get married, not to have kids, not to practice a religion etc. It doesn't make you selfish in any way, it's simply a life choice. Sometimes when people make choices they're unhappy with them. Other's couldn't be more happy.

I've always LOVED kids and I grew up to be a teacher, have 2 degrees and have 4 of my own. I have actually 5 friends who have kids and are always unhappy. I have a few friends who choose to get their masters, drs etc and make their career their main priority. Only 3 of those are married.

Way back when a woman's "job" was the have kids, clean the house, cook, take care of the family etc. That's far from reality now a days.

Good luck in school and best wishes =]

i don't think just because you are a women that you have to have a baby. i have a aunt that didn't have a child until she was 35. by that time she had her house paid off, nice vehicle and all of her bills to the bare. that way she could afford to give her child everything. she also had job security from being with the same company and being her career first. but on the other hand u have to also look cons the older you are the harder it is to conceive a child. also, you have to think about the child's childhood are you gonna be to old to get out there and teach them to play ball. you have to make that choice for yourself, weigh the pros and the cons but most importantly you have to ready for a child. don't rush it for anyone. as far as your friend goes a good friend wouldn't tell that you was selfish for not wanting to have a kid. lose her and find a friend that will accept the decisions you make in YOUR life

It depends, if you were to be living in the 50's then yes, I would say you are expected to. BUT...now in this day and age, women are not expected to have children. I have always had the same dreams as your friend, but Im also working on my paralegal degree. There can be a happy medium. So to answer your question, it can mean you are selfish if you don't do it because you ONLY want to think about yourself OR if it's because you just plain don't want kids or don't feel you are ready. Either way, it is ultimately YOUR choice, and it's your life. I think whatever makes you happy sounds pretty good.......take care and good luck with your friend.