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Is is wrong to tell someone they're adopted if they didn't know?
Does the answer change if you're talking about a young child, a teenager, a young adult, an older adult?
Does it depend on whether you're a friend or a spouse or a sibling of the adoptee?
How do other people find out? They knew about the adoption from the beginning or someone slipped.
And as to who I am - I'm an adoptee who found out at age 31. It did NOT devastate me. I do know of a situation where the parents slipped to their son-in-law and told him NOT to tell their daughter.
I agree that it needs to be told by the right person - someone close to the adoptee.
And yes - many adoptees do find out after the parents are deceased - at the funeral, when going through their parents' personal effects....
Remember also that the adoptee has been giving their doctor inaccurate information on their family medical history.
Who owns your identity?
3 Answers
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
If it was me and I was an adopting parent, I'd tell them because they have a right to know and they will eventually start wondering where "birth pictures" "ultrasounds" "baby book" etc
now if the tables were turned:
but if I was adopted I'd want to know because I'd want to find the real parents and build a relationship with them if they we're worth to even have that, and ask them why they gave me up.
so no its not wrong ....
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Unless you are one of the adopting parents, you probably should not say anything. The only exception I can think of is if both parents are deceased.
I am curious as to how you (think you) know this when the adoptee does not. Are you a relative? A birth parent?
- 1 decade ago
If you have to ask than it probably is wrong. When someone finds this out it is a terrible shock and it must be done my the right person. Usually the adoptive parent.
