I need desperate help with young adult daughter?

Nothing for you to do. She's moved out and has to learn to live on her own. You can't force her to move back to your home. Sounds like she may ask to move back anyway. Wait until then. Lay down the rules for her responsibilities if she moves back. If she doesn't try to move back, you have to let go and let her live her own life.

Sorry if this is not the answer you're looking for.

Well there really is not too much you can do ..she is 18 and lives on her own..As far as the messy place goes..don't be too alarmed on that one..when I moved out..for the first few months my house was a wreck and it was only because I was so used to being told what to do in my house by my mom that once I had freedom it was kinda like a i'll show you and stuff so I didn't wash my clothes, dishes or anything..she came over a few times and tried to clean up and at first it made me mad but after awhile I liked it..but the thing is I got used to it and sometimes its called tough love and unless your daughter is showing signs of drugs and such I would make her learn her lesson on her own..she may look sick because she may be staying up for long hours into the night another thing she probably couldn't do at home..look for signs on an eating disorder as well.. when I moved out it was a sense of freedom and I knew I could even be bulmic and no one would know...good luck on it all just try and take one day at a time with her..but don't be her crutch as she will never become an adult if you keep coming to her rescue good luck!

As much as it is bothering you the condition she is living in it isn't bothering her and until it does no amount of preaching, begging or anything else is going to get her to change. You could suggest to her that you would come over and help her clean things up but even then dont be surprised if she turns you down. The best lesson for her will be when she goes to move out and doesnt get her money from deposit back because of the condition it is in. My first apartment was a wreck all because my mother was a neat freak and I was rebelling against that, by the time I got my second place it was bugging me as much as it did her and I started picking up and now I hate to say it but I am just like my mom I cant stand for anything to be out of place. Patience she is only 18.

She desires help, and possibly more effective useful than you resources for her, by both your different well-known jobs and your lack of craftsmanship about psychological diseases. this does no longer inevitably make you a nasty figure, and bigger useful than maximum i comprehend what rigidity a mentally sick adolescent (she's neither an individual or a sparkling toddler, she's in between) would nicely be on the moms and dads, yet I also comprehend how no longer worry-free it extremely is for a youthful individual with psychological ailment to have moms and dads who do not comprehend. i imagine of that gazing psychotherapy, if she does no longer have already were given it, or perhaps a clinical institution/in-affected individual project would nicely be the ideal idea. for sure she continues to be suffering. Hospitals have a habit of discharging victims as immediately as obtainable, by lack of money, centers and resources, and it sounds like she wasn't finished receiving the help that she needed at the same time as she became into in there.

As a mother I think you are concerned for her however with the present situation your daughter needs to settle all these issues by herself. The moment she chose to live on her own she decided to be independent.Let her go through all these in time she will realize her priorities and how to live her life . I suggest you can call her give her some advice and be prepared to help her in times when she needs you.

God Bless!

Sounds like she's may have a drug dependency or she may be really depressed or has other major issues

Now being a slob doesn't sound so bad, just hope I am wrong about the drugs, watch for stealing when she gets home.

look fo rsigns of durg abuse eating disorder and depression other than that soem tough love and let ehr hit the absoulte rock bottom may seem liek she is there but it might be a lil bit more before she truely is after hitting rock bottom that should help her to wake up and realize what she had was good and if she doesn't wanto clean herself and her life up then you really can't help her til she wants to help herself good luck my prayers are with you

She may be depressed take her to the doctors. Some kids like to live that way. Can she come back to live with you. Us mothers are soft with our kids i would be just as upset. Does she have any older sisters to talk to. If it was me I'd be round everyday cleaning. That doesn't always work though. In today world our kids do no chorse we mothers do everything we dint learn them how to be in dependant i am guilt of that.

Your daughter is mentally ill. You need to call the health department, social services, police, someone who will come out and has the authority to have a judge order mental care.

It is not a matter of being lazy, she is living in squalor and is a danger to herself.

Good point Geena-I forgot about it also being signs of substance abuse.

I don't know what to tell you. That is horrible! Maybe if she lives like that for a while, she will get tired of it.