What can I do to help my wife feel comfortable with my son from a previous relationship?

RESPECT HER

SHE IS BOSS

SET THE RULES STRAIGHT

DO NOT FORCE HER INTO THE MOM POSITION

Your son is and always will be your son. She cannot and should not seek to take that relationship away or have you choose between your son and her. It is not common nor is it right. At the age of 15 your son is no longer a little boy, but he is by no means a man, an adult. Your son needs your guidance. This is an important time in his life, one which will help shape how he acts especially in his adult relationships during that time. Your wife needs to understand that you have the ability and capacity to love both your son and her, that there is no competition. That your situation cannot be judged or determined by situations of others.

It is understandable that your son may react a little 'off' toward your wife when first meeting. This can still occur during subsequent contact. Your wife is an adult, she needs to act like one. She needs to be the better person and love him into loving her, taking that time to develop a relationship with him too, it will take time and she will need to earn his trust but when all is said and done, she is the adult.

Well i take it you are a bit older then your new wife. Seems to me that she doesn't want the child in the house thus using any means to put worries in your head to change your mind. If you are steadfast on having your son come live with you then your going to have a rough road ahead. Honestly if this situation was never discussed before your marriage then she has a right to her opinion. And in that case you may have to make a choice if she isn't willing to accept him. I wouldn't rush on bringing him in to the family setting. Tell her to give him a chance stay off and on a day or so let them get comfortable with each other and see how things go from there. But if there both not willing to give things a try then like i said your in for a rough road.

I believe your wife's age is a major factor here and your teenage son will accept her so easily even more because of that. the way i see it, what u have in mind is not gonna happen as one big family.

But your wife does have an interesting solution. he is not a boy anymore, what if you treated him like an adult? like a close friend so as to break the ice and traditional relationship barrier between step mother and son?

if that still does not work out maybe he is better off with his natural mom and he can visit whenever.

She's too paranoid. Just because you have stepchildren doesn't mean that the kids will do something horrible. She has a negative view of men and your son it seems. Is she old fashioned? Just because it happened to someone else doesn't mean it will happen to your family. If she can't get past her fears then you should move on.

You really have to question her integrity at this point. Did she not consider this before she married you? I would NOT go trying to make her 'comfortable' She is being a b$#$ and you should tell her "He is my flesh and blood, if you love me, you will accept him. If not HIT THE ROAD!!" Plain and simple. Why would you put her over your own kid? Do you realize how much this might be messing him up? You need to stand up to her! Her reasons are really stupid, honestly. You should show her my post! It sounds like she is just jealous because all your attention will no longer go to HER!

Tell her to grow up. Its your son you should be thinking about here...he needs to be the one to feel comfortable around your wife. Just because a particular situation happens somewhere else, doesnt mean to say its commonplace. You wife needs to grow up and accept that you have a son and do whatever it takes to make your son feel accepted.

Convince her to understand the situation properly and treat the grown up son as her son so that he will surely take care of her as his mother .She must understand the fact that he is the son of her husband .Her argument is only for get rid of him

Does she think your 15 year old son is going to jump on her?

That is the most stupid thing i've ever heard,she's a grown woman and he is your son.She just doesn't want a teenager in the house.He's a kid and he's your kid and you need to make her understand that.

Yeah the age is too close ,butif she respect her self en treat himlike a groen up its ok,or avoid all that and let the son be staying away,

It can bring proble later

It sounds like she acted differently until she got married and now she wants him gone. She will just have to get over it. No that is not common.