Anyone who has been adopted ...?

I'm very fond of my adoptive family - I love them with all my heart.

I still wanted to know the truth of where I came from and have a problem with people who try to tell me that's not my right.

I was adopted and I may be in the minority here but I don't feel the least bit hostile. I think the issue of emotional support is one factor among many, many things that can effect a person's point of view or feelings regarding their own adoption. The circumstances surrounding the adoption, the age of the child, the adoptive family, personality, temperament, how the issue of adoption is handled by the adoptive family...I mean there could be just millions of factors.

To say that the child should be happy to have a place to live and a family is really, really simplifying adoption. There are a lot more emotional, psychological, social, etc things that go into it.

It's a very good question and I do think emotional support is important, as it is for everyone.

edit--You know, either did I until I came to this site. I've really learned a lot reading people's answers here. It's opened my eyes to others' opinions and that's always a good thing. Everyone's experience is different. I had gone through life with my adoption being pretty much a non-issue and it's just not that way for everyone I now know.

There are 100000 reasons as to why some would be hostile about adoption and some are particularly hostile towards AP who don't care about what's best for their child and then there are few who want to do, say and be hurtful to anyone who has adopted.

I'm not adopted, but I do get hostile (particularly with my family) when they don't get that adoption is more that than getting a baby 1 day and getting on with life.

HIS story started long before his adoption. He has another family. Unfortunately there are so many who loose their family all together.

Try to imagine being away from your family for just a week. IMAGINE if that were a life time. You feel their absence, BUT you are told to be glad that you are around all these other great people, what's there to complain about.

I'vee been away from my own mother for 11 year. She did some pretty rotten things and hurt me a lot, but there is a HUGE part of me that wants to squeeze behind her and fall asleep as I did when I was a kid, because she didn't want to leave a party yet. I miss her so much.

ETA- even though I was hurt, I still need her hugs. I still wanted her there when I gave birth or when I got married or graduated college. Although she wasn't.

As far as what APs can do? I would think that acknowledging the loss, teaching their kids that FEELINGS can't be wrong, even if it's being angry with being adopted.

Most adult adoptee here did not have open relationships and later found that they were never in danger of anything.

I think that's part of the problem. I could have had any number of material things, but I still wouldn't have felt that I belonged. Square peg. Round hole. And yes, I still would have felt this way had I had the ideal childhood.

My life got jacked up. I wonder how people would feel if someone walked into their life at this moment, stripped them of their name, their culture, history, medical and otherwise, language, all their records would be altered and those that couldn't be altered would be sealed and inaccessible, in the name of it being in their so called best interest, and if they spoke up and talked honestly about their feelings and misgivings, somehow they are simply bitter and angry and thus not worth any consideration.

Even if I'd had the candy land of childhoods, and nothing but a positive experience with my APs, I would still be angry and hostile about everything I wrote in the above paragraph. I don't think any of that would be excused in any other circumstance, and I think it is much easier to justify when the person in question is a baby with no way to say or do anything to prevent what is being done to them.

ETA I had a very rocky, very painful upbringing. While I can now look back and see the good that was there, I was miserable as a child, and it had little to do with the fact that I wasn't with my first family and more to do with the fact that my AP weren't fully equipped to parent and provide. My AP and I have worked hard to form a relationship, but that happened long after I'd moved out, become a mother myself, married, and divorced. My adoption experience wasn't better than what my first family could have provided. Just different.

I am adopted. I don't hate the fact that I was adopted. In fact in my case it was the best thing for me. However when I was a teenager I very much hated the fact of my adoption. I felt different.

It took alot of years and seeing what the kids my Bmom did raise went thru before I realized how lucky I was.

Adoptive families are like birth families in that some are great and some are terrible, but most fall somewhere in the middle.

The noe thing I always resented my adoptive parents for was lying. I found out that I was adopted by accident when I was 9 years old. I think I would have handled it better knowing from the beginning

I was adopted at 3 months old. I have never been hostile about my adoption. My birthmother was 16 years old and wanted me to have a better life than what she could provide. My parents never his the fact that I was adopted from me. They read the book "the chosen baby" to me and explained that I was extra special because my mom and dad got to choose me. My parents have been the best parents a person could ask for and i truely beileve that they love me just as much or more than they would havve loved their natural children if they could have them.

I don't feel hostility towards adoptive parents.

What I feel is total frustration.

I get frustrated with the kind of person who can justify their every action.

I get frustrated with the kind of people who stop at "I'm doing the best I can do." which sounds like an oxymoronic excuse to be lame to me.

I get frustrated with the kind of people who are overly proud of themselves, self-satisfied and self-congratulatory, and at the same time strangely overly defensive.

I get frustrated with people who claim they are thinking about the children, but really their first thought is how does this affect me?

I get frustrated with people who moan about how difficult raising an adopted child is and wanting to hear what you have to say but willing to listen only if you're saying something complimentary to them, something which validates them and all that they are doing.

I get frustrated being labeled an ingrate or being maladjusted just because I have some differing opinions. Opinions based on my third of the triad's perspective.

I get frustrated because the adoptee perspective is dismissed most of the time.

So maybe the question shouldn't be, why people who have been adopted seem so hostile about having another family? Maybe the question should be, what's going on that so many adoptees are coming out in public and raising their voices?

You know, we just might have some valuable insights and something valid to say.

I am adopted, and i had a happy life, and still do. i've met my bio parents, and i know that giving me and my twin brother up was for the best. They kept my younger sibling, a girl, and she has a far different life. To be honest, i dont think my bio mom was ever really cut out to be a mother.

i cant imagine being hostile towards the topic of adoption, or anyone who wants to adopt.

My boyfriend was adopted at birth and he is fine with it, he found out at a young age that he was adopted so i think that helps always knowing and feeling like you havent been liedto about it, K. is quite happy with his life and his family, has no intentions of finding his biological parents, he was raised and loved by his adoptive parents and they are his parents.. they have always been there... and questions please ask.. i can also put you in contact with him...

I was adopted almost 45 years ago and have never looked back. I had a loving and caring family that raised me and that has been my family, the only family I have cared to know, since that time. I know that many here have not been blessed with the upbringing and experiences that I have and many refuse to believe that it's been possible but thats the way it's been. I'm working my best to carry on the blessings with my own adopted and biological daughters.