I am going through a long drawn out divorce over debt that isn't mine!?

When fighting for something as a matter of principle it can be very expensive, so just be careful.

I am not a lawyer so a good divorce lawyer should be able to give you the best advice.

It makes no sense at all to me that you should inherit another person's debt load simply because you married the person but you may find the following helpful:

Currently most states are what are known as ‘equitable distribution’ states, which means that in the event of a divorce, the courts will decide who gets what. Assets and equity won’t necessarily be split between the two of you 50/50 – it may depend on your general financial situation, length of marriage, what each person contributed financially to the marriage, any existing debts, etc. It doesn’t usually make any difference whose name or money was used to acquire the assets to begin with, as once you are married they become joint assets.

Some states have what are known as ‘community property’ laws, where a couple’s assets are generally split down the middle between the two of them. The 9 states that currently have this law are Arizona, Idaho, California, Louisiana, New Mexico, Nevada, Texas, Washington and Wisconsin. Keep in mind that as well as equally splitting up assets, any debts are split between the two of you as well. Whether this includes previously acquired debt by your ex before you got married can only be answered by a lawyer.

Of course, the biggest asset you probably have is going to be your home. In most states the house is considered joint property even if the mortgage is under just one person’s name.

This means that you may be entitled to a portion of the appraised value of the house. So, your ex had better tread lightly.

The court does have the power to decide who keeps possession of the house during a divorce; although they would prefer that the couple decided it between them. There are several ways of handling the ownership of the home; it can be sold and then the proceeds split between husband and wife. One party can keep the home and refinance in their name alone perhaps in exchange for giving up other assets – make sure the details are spelled out clearly in the divorce agreement.

Cars are usually the next biggest asset. If a couple has two cars, it usually makes sense for them to keep one each. Keep in mind the monthly payments on the vehicle, that you will then be solely responsible for the payment if ownership is transferred to you.

If your ex has a pension plan keep in mind that you may be entitled to part of that as it would be considered an "asset".

Divorce laws in Canada are similar.

While deciding to just walk away from the relationship with only the clothes on your back to avoid confrontation is understandable it is an emotional reaction that for your own sake needs to be thought through more carefully. You have certain entitlements. Why should he get all of the furniture that you paid $15,000 for? And why should you be saddled with half of his debts when you are no longer together? I am in your corner on this one but in the end the courts will have to sort it out.

You do not say how long you were married but as mentioned above that is taken into account when it comes to splitting up the debt and the assets. Good luck.

It depends on a number of factors. What state you live in, his job and your job, reason for divorce, children, etc. What my state of Tennessee says is that there is a fair division of marital property and debt. For example, if you acquired the house after you got married, you would be entitled to 1/2 the value of the house, 1/2 the value of the furnishings, 1/2 the value of the vehicles, basically 1/2 the value of all assets acquired during the marriage. However, you would also be responsible for 1/2 of all the debt that you or he went into during the marriage. This is really a question your lawyer would be far better able to advise you on. But for the time being, don't agree to anything, don't sign anything, and if he pushes you for an answer, tell him to talk to your lawyer about it.

I am glad you got a lawyer cause even if he hadn't it seems like the kind of situation where you'll need one. But I don't think it is fair obviously since you were the one to make the house livable right? I assume all the cost of that went on you and your credit rating so to speak right? If that's the case as it seems then he should be paying you at least half of that since when you first came there the house was obviously not up to par.

Why should you be paying him if that is the case you know? That's how it seems to me.

In my opinion you are entitled to half of everything you put into it at least which seems only fair to me. I mean, if you hadn't come to be with him, would his house have remained trashed like that because he might not have afforded to make it livable again? That's something you probably know the answer to already.

Yes,

I think you are entitled to your share and potentially half the value of the house itself too really. Check with your lawyer on this and see if that is possible. That's what I'd say.

It depends on where you live and for how long you two were together. He has the legal right to ask for you to pay half, whether or not the judge will grant it is something to be seen.

If you were together for a long time, then yes, he's likely to get you to help him out with half of his debt.

Life is never fair, so why worry about the fairness of this or not. If you married a man with debt and remained married for 8 years or more, then decided to give it up... then i would say it's fair he asks for help with the debt you agreed to marry him with.

Next time you meet a man you want to marry find out if he has debt. If he does, help him to clear it up BEFORE you get married. If it's soo much that you two can't get married for years... then get a written agreement of what his debts are and the amounts that are owed and that you will have no legal responsibilities to them in the future. Make sure an attorney draws it up so that it will stand up in a court of law. Once that is said and done, then live together until the debt is settled, then get married. Even if it takes 15 years.

If the debt is the 15k to fix up the house, then i'd say it's more than fair to make you pay half of it, since you wanted to live there. You two could have gotten rid of the place and started over somewhere else. You made choices of what goes into the home, therefore you should be responsible for half of it. Even if you chose not to take anything. That was a choice, not an excuse to not pay for anything you helped pick out and buy.

I've not dealt with this. I insisted my boyfriend have his money affairs in order before getting married, and i insisted on having the same on my end. I thought that was only fair. Any and all debt i helped to create would be, in fairness, half of mine even if i chose to walk away from it.

that's my take.

Is it fair, that is a loaded question. You lived in the house. You apparently agreed with all the work being done on the house, and it is interesting you said "we bought fixtures, etc". Which means you were a partner in this transaction. If the house is in both of your names, you will get 1/2 of the house. If there are children involved, he could be forced to give you the house until the kids reach the age of 16-18, at which time you could be forced to sell it. If no kids are involved, the courts could force a sell of the house, and after debts are paid, the difference could be split. GOOD LUCK

Oh, bye the way, the wheels of justice turn slow and expensively.

What a friggin sad mess you are in! No one can tell you should feel so you have to deal with that part yourself. Take a breath, stand back for a bit and really think about where the most pain is coming from. It is hard to separate your feelings for the kids from the feelings for the wife but maybe that would be a start. I had the hardest time when my children where with my ex and his girlfriend- they drank and partied and were totally inappropriate around them but since they did not physically harm them I could do nothing per the courts. Going for the birthday party will be a test of your commitment to the kids and a fire under the skin because of the lingering feelings for your soon to be ex. If she can treat you this way and not want the best situation for the kids then she does not deserve your devotion- yeah, easy for me to say! Focus on the kids and what your actions will say to them. The pain will numb eventually- it takes time and a conscious effort to not think about the good times but be realistic and let the bad stuff into the memories. Good luck to all of you.

You will not have to pay half of the debt he had before you were married. But marital debt you incurred during marriage for the house you were both living in, will most likely be both of your debts to pay. You can also ask for half of all the furniture. You don't have to leave with nothing.

Since he's trying to make you pay for half the debt (that isnt yours) tell him that you want HALF OF THE HOUSE...now you know why his first ex took everything she could.....but get you a good lawyer and dont be afraid of your husband's or your husband's lawyer's tactics....and good luck!

if he wants you to have half of the debt then you get half of the equity in the house. it's 50/50

when you married your husband you acquired his debt ... if you don't want to pay I suggest hiring a lawyer. Is it fair? No, but it is reality. Accept it