Does anyone else have a problem with the term 'Adopter'?

I do, and I rarely use it. Although it is a "legal term" which is used very often in other parts of the world, it just makes me cringe a little bit, just like the term "birthmother" does. It belittles and de-humanizes people, if that makes sense.

I just feel like if the word is offensive to most, and I do believe it is to people in the US, I dont use it very often.

Hi Hpfreak,

I've been called worse, so no I don't have a problem with the word.

There is no negative connotation attached to adopter. What? Is someone going to say, "that i am reduced to the single act of adopting my child and thats all i was good for"? I think not. The term adopter doesn't carry the same gravity as the "b" word that some people are using in comparison. apples and oranges, here.

It doesn't personally bother me one bit, and I feel it can be a truthful term at certain parts of the adoption process. However, I know it bothers some people so I don't use it out of respect, just like I refuse to use the word birthmother/father, etc.

I do not use this term when referring to adoptive parents. I've been in the adoption arena for decades and never heard of this term until I got on this forum. I personally think that the term is cold, and removes the humanness from adoptive parents, similar to how the "birth" term likens natural parents to one function.

Generally, I don't make it a practice of discounting other peoples feelings.

It's not a word that bothers me. My parents adopted me, I am the adoptee, they are the adopters. What's to get your knickers in a twist about that? <wry g>

@Randy B: Strange. On my computer it's adoptee that gets flagged in a speel-chuck, with adopter being accepted.

ETA: But then I also use the term birth for members of my bfam (ok, so I abbreviate birth family, but that's only to save on typing), which a lot of other people seem to have massive problems with.

I've considered the terms that I use, weighed up the pros and cons of what they mean to me, and decided whether to carry on using them or not - I chose to carry on using the terms because not only are they what I grew up with and so feel comfortable with, but also because they are just descriptive words, and I like to have easy to understand labels to use.

No, I see nothing wrong with the term 'adopter'.

This same word is used in a CDC report (federal government report) that I posted the link to..in another question, that I gave an answer to.

Which BTW..was reported as a violation!!! A link to a government report about adoption and adoptive parents!! WTH!

Many people here still use the term 'birthmother', saying that is rightful adoption language...the government (in most cases now) and agencies use this term as well. I would never tell an adopted person, what they should or should not call their own apars nor their own natural mother/parents. That's their call, not mine. But when someone calls me a 'birthmother', a label I choose to wholly not identify with, that is my choice for myself and I can refuse to be called that if someone is speaking directly to me.

Until someone adopts and has never adopted before, but is hoping to or in the planning stage..they are PAPs (potential adoptive parents), once someone adopts and/or has adopted more than once, than they are adoptive parents, adopters, apars, etc.

If I answer a question of yours and you have already made it known that you do not like your apars, to be called 'adopters', then I would respect your individual request. As I would expect same in regards to my ownself...that I do not call my self a 'birth' thing, nor identify with that term. I know we all can't remember everyone here at YA, or for that matter on any forum...but I try to remember who likes or doesn't like to be called such and such in their *individual* circumstances.

ETA: "I'd cringe more because it's not proper English-LOL."

Really?? The word 'adopter' is in the english dictionary and our federal government uses this word as well. Maybe you should tell the feds they are not using 'proper English'...and the people who put our English dictionaries together.

Adopter is a legal term in the UK, is used on adoption paperwork and used by social workers but it's not a term I use. I certainly never refer to my son's adoptive parents as his adopters as it's a cold term to use. Normally I just refer to them as his parents unless I need to clarify then I add adoptive. I dislike the term adopter almost as much as birther.

Sizesmith said that "adopter" is not proper English.

That is incorrect. "Adopter" is a legal term used in adoption papers.

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/Adopter

As you will see in this dictionary.com entry, the term adopter is indeed a noun.

ETA: Most legal terms are pretty cold. I refer to my "adopters" as Mom and Dad. I'm pretty sure most people do. However, some people use it online or in conversation just to differentiate between which parents they are talking about or to specify that the people are adopting a child, etc.

I suppose I might correct someone or be taken aback if someone called me an "adopter" to my face. But I have yet to hear the term at all.

But in terms of just discussion and language for adoption etc...it doesn't offend me.

The title of "mom" is the one that matters most. I do think "birther" is crass though and that's just the gut feeling I get. They are so much more than that. As an "adopter", it doesn't negate the parent part but the "birther" term seems to negate all that went into the parenting decision which was, in it's very beginning, up to the bio parent.

Spotty-Dotty: Get a freakin' clue! If you knew our son's bio mom AND most others...you would have to eat those words. Selfish? Geez...

Well as many of my good friends know I have a problem with the word "adoptee" I prefer the term adopta-lopta-ding-dong because it expresses my inner fabulousity.

Please everyone from now on refer to all adoptees as adopta-lopta-ding-dongs as *I* find the word adoptee OFFENSIVE.

See what a slippery slope the labeling can be?