My adopted daughter is flirting with my husband?

Well first of all I give you a BIG compliment on facing this situation and it is very disturbing.

You did not say if your adopted daughter knows that she is adopted - nevertheless, her behavior is inappropriate and you should try to find a behavior therapist - with you visiting initially, then your husband and a decision will be made to include your daughter.

Your husband should assist you by letting his daughter know that her behavior is disrespectful and inappropriate - as he sees her as his little girl and nothing else. The fact that she does this openly leads me to think that she nor he would would act on this - so that might bring you some comfort.

I am a female child raised solely by her father - there were times during my teens years - that I would sit in my dad's lap or perhaps walk around without a robe on, but my dad nicely told me that he felt I was too old be sitting on his lap as I did as a young child and that I should wear a robe or cloths around the house because he felt it inappropriate - at first I really thought he was just being stupid but we talked more about it and he said even though it did not bother him - other family members that visited would find it unacceptable, and it was his job to teach me how to behave for the outside world.

My dad always sees me as his little girl - but I'm not and I was growing into womanhood. If your husband teaches her this, it will set the pattern for when she will or might be around other adult males - her flirting could get her into some serious and painful situations that she did not intend to be in. HER DAD needs to help and I believe he can put an end to this. Comments like, "I'm your father, and I find your behavior disrespectful to me as your dad and your mom, so please stop. He should avoid crashing her self-esteem - but there is nothing wrong with modifying her behavior.

Also, tell her as she grows older she will look back on this and find it disgusting. You might want to follow up on the therapist just to make sure she has not experience some type of abuse from the outside.

Good luck and you sound like a GREAT MOTHER!

This is really a tough question, I can only imagine how upset you must be. She is doing this in front of you? I knew a person like this, up to the age of 30 she was still sitting on her dads lap and flirty him. Her mom didn't see anything wrong with it. Other people noticed and would comment. Nothing ever happened between the two other than this really strange show of emotions. The girl I'm talking about grew up and became a very flirty lady, who has many affairs. At the age of 40 she had an affair with a 17 year old boy and she seemed to have a nervous breakdown. Later she was diagnosed with sever depression, than later bi polar.

I'm not saying your daughter has this problem, but maybe she might need to talk to a physician. Growing up is hard enough without the mix of hormones going crazy. I wouldn't leave the two of them alone, just so she can't say he did something to her. Professional help is who I would turn to, your physician may know a good someone who can help you.

I think an example of what she's doing would be able to give you better answers.

For instance, the ways in which men and women communicate is at different levels of flirting depending on the situation and what whoever is doing the flirting (and responding to the flirting) is hoping to achieve. There is such a thing as harmless flirting-if she's smiling at him a lot and joking around with him-leave her alone.

If she's sitting on his lap and dressing provocatively and rubbing all over him be concerned.

If it's somewhere in the middle discuss what is and isn't appropriate.

Well, she should knows she is not de really daughter of him! The attraction for a man at this age is very normal in a girl. It´s more, from 12 years old the women feel her feminine desires and we all know that. Are you sure that it´s right now? For him it should be a very difficult situation. No man can resist for many time that kind of temptation!!! My god!! For other side, I read in several countries (of the first world even) like France, England, Romania, Switzerland... this case of relationship are permitted, but of course, this is not your case! With 17 y.o she is already a woman!! And your husband knows what would to do! Pls keep writing. Good luck

No 17 y/o in her right mind would play something like that with her father. It doesn't matter if she's adopted or not, this man his a father to her. Young teens using sex or flirt to attract an authority figure often have been molested.....I rest my case here.

You and her need to head to a therapist. Don't involve the dad and be prepared for a huge shock when you get to that therapist.

All girls do this with Daddy to some extent. So part of it is nature. They practice with Dad for later in life with other guys.

But if it is going too far just take her aside and give her the woman to woman speech where you say 'you are becoming a woman and one of the things you learn is don't f*ck around with another woman's man as she will kill you'.

She'll find a guy and all those hormones will be focued on him. The you'll be worried about that.

BC

Counseling is called for here. Your daughter needs to learn appropriate boundaries now before her straying over them becomes a big problem for her in life. She's young. She needs attention. But she needs appropriate attention. You need to insist your husband be attentive to your concerns. He could be a big help to you in arresting your daughter's inappropriate behavior.

You need to find out why she looking for attention. Maybe, she dosen't feel love at home. Our she does it , to get want she wants from your husband. Or she could be mad at you for some reason, that she knows it hurts you. No matter what she needs some help. Good luck

I doubt he's oblivious to her behavior, it simply doesn't bother him. You need to talk to her about it stopping or take her to a counselor who can explain why it's inappropriate and to find out why she is seeking that kind of attention from him. There's an underlying reason and getting to the root of it is needed, so the behavior can be stopped or redirected.

Trust me your husband has noticed. And whats more he is probably enjoying it. What man wouldn't. His ego is lapping it up, and so would any ones but that doesn't help does it. You can either ignore it, you can ask him to speak to her and ask her to respect her mother and stop behaving this way. Or you can call her bluff, get your husband to come even stronger, this could back fire or it will scare the c r a p out of her, it really depends on who she is, is she a virgin. He needs to declare his undying love, tell him to promise that they can run away together, set up home, he wants a divorce, etc etc. This will really cool her ardour trust me. If she really thinks he is serious. My heart goes out to you, personally I would ignore it, do by non doing.......