my life is such a mess?

You are 34 and have a son. Many women are in your shoes. Your husband made the mistake in your relationship, not you, so there is no reason to regret it because you didn't have a choice. His new wife is his mess now...it sounds like it's a marriage built on lust/infatuation not love.

Trust me, you are still young. Don't stay hung up on your cheating ex. Get out there and meet a guy who will treat you right and not throw away a lifetime commitment for some skank.

There is nothing wrong with you. What you are feeling is normal. Holidays bring a lot of people down more than usual. Stop blaming yourself for the break up of your marriage. Your husband is the one who ended it when he had an affair. Your post-natal depression does not excuse his behavior. If he really is happily married to this woman, it means he did not love you as much as he should have. That doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with you. Enjoy the holidays with your son. Stop reminiscing about what could have been or should have been; the fact is, that it is not. Celebrate what you have and stop mourning for what you don't have.

I divorced my husband of 17years 9 years ago. I don't regret divorcing him because he was an azz hole but I do regret how it screwed up our family. Nothing was ever the same again, especially holidays. I am a little blue today also, wishing I was spending the holidays with my sons and my family. I saw one son last night, the other will come tomorrow...Today, I will be with my second husband and his daughter and his family. I love my husband and his family dearly but the definition of family isn't the same, it doesn't feel the same. I suppose it never will again and that makes me sad. I guess I need to follow my own advice :)

You are 34 and you still have time to make something of yourself. I sympathise with you on the post natal thing and it happens to a lot of women and it happened to Princess Diana who lived her life out in the public gaze. She also suffered with post natal depression and her husband was also knocking about with another woman who he eventually married. Life is life and you have a lovely son (i'm sure as i don't know him) . Shania Twain's husband left her for her best friend but she eventually found happiness by getting with the other woman's husband! Just tell yourself that you can find lots of things in your life to be getting on with until someone comes along and that you are not alone. There is a new year coming up and a time to change things. Keep positive!

1. You have a family- you and your son are a family.

2. It is only a matter of time before he cheats on her..if that makes you feel any better.

3. Say you got back w/ your ex and he cheated, AGAIN, then your life would be a real mess.

4. Sounds like you are just lonely because of the holidays.

5. You will meet someone eventually that makes you realize it ended for a very good reason, and you will be ready to love again.

You have to move on - you did the right thing and the fact that you are still thinking of the separation which happened 8 years ago is keeping you from getting happy again. There's nothing wrong with you and you have no responsibility, definitely not now for what happened. Forget about the past, it didn't work out - be happy for your former husband that he found happiness. It means nothing about your ability to do the same. Once you forget reliving the past, you'll be able to move ahead. If you need help, get counseling.

He was the one who had something wrong with him, he's the cheat he's the one who wasnt there for yo emotionally when you needed him. You're free of a dead weight that was holding you back from true happiness with a faithful man who will fulfil all your needs. What you have to do not just for yourself but for your child also is to stop looking into the past & wondering what if!!!! You have to start the New year with the attitude that you are going to find happiness start to socialise more, take up a hobby, put a smile on your face & start having fun if you take every new challenge or experience with a positive attitude then slowly you will realise that you stop worrying about past experiences & that you're looking forward to the new experiences which are waiting for you.

Your life is a mess because you are focusing on all the wrong things. He's a liar and a cheat, and you miss that just because he 'appears' to have everything? Well, he's still a liar. They built a life on deceit, so how can you think everyday of their lives is happy? I believe in a higher power who takes care of people like them. THEY WOULD NEVER LET YOU KNOW WHEN THEY'E NOT GETTING ALONG! They built a facade at the risk of YOUR happiness. Do not allow them to fool you. Do you want him to cheat on her with you? Don't waste your good spirt wishing for what others have, it's only ALWAYS like that on the surface. THEY KNOW the crap they have to put up with. If he EVER comes to you and says he wants you back, do not be his bouncing ball so that you could be a 'victor'. hang onto your pride & self respect. As soon as you do some mental reorganizing, the sooner you'll be in shape for someone worthy of you. Good luck!

Is there something "wrong" with you? No. Right now you lack self-confidence. Here is a fact of your life (all our lives) Jane. Stop living in the past, you cannot change it. Don't live in the future, it may not turn out the way you dream it to be. Live in the now. Now is forever, you can change now or now will change you. Have a talk with your minister, a counselor/therapist, a trusted friend who can give you unbiased advice.

I believe you can do this for yourself. All the Best.

Work so you would have something to do with your time than thinking about something that is not yours anymore. Then maybe if you have already fixed your life, someone better will come knocking on your door. Be beautiful again. Make men swoon on you again. Love yourself first before loving someone else. Love only those that love you. Don't love those who doesn't because its a waste of time and energy.

He cheated on you and married the woman he had the affair with. This doesn't make him a great guy, it makes him a cheat. Just because they are still married, doesn't mean that they are in a great relationship. My husband did the same thing, we are divorced and every now and then I hear things that he does to her than he used to do to me. Trust me, he hasn't changed and she will forever feel insecure in their relationship. She will never know if he will stray on her and she knows the mean things he said about you, to her. If he gets angry with her, he will stray again. You aren't feeling down because they are happy (seemingly happy), you are feeling down because you don't have a relationship with someone now. Work on that, find someone to be happy with and you will stop focusing on their relationship. Trust me, its not what you think.