Husband watching porn daily - long, but would appreciate insightful, nuanced advice?

Sit down now and let him know that you have found out about his porn habits and you are not happy at all and what can both of you do about the situation. Porn is a slow poison in the relationship/marriage that will eventually kill it. Porn should not be acceptable behavior from a man or woman and when both sexes realize this and do something about it, there will be less problems.

Tell him from your point of view that it makes you feel bad, unloved, worthless and sad that he is choosing to look at other naked women and not have his thoughts on you only. Its cheating even tho many will say its not. Ask him what you can do to improve your sex life so that he has no need to be looking at porn all the time.

Until he admits to it and understands how wrong it is and how destructive it is, nothing will change and it will get worse. I stronly recommend you and him read Every Man's Battle to help him get all porn out of his life.

Okay, i think that as long as you watch porn, you have nothing to be complaining about.

Seriously, the main issue is that you both do it, you both bring this evil into your marriage.

Women tend to grow tired of it quicker than men do, and you will soon be tired of it yourself and will want your husband to grow tired of it too, but he won't, he'll continue, and that will, in turn, upset you and make you realize, "WTF have i done allowing this evil in our marriage?"

The issue is not that he watches women that don't look like you and whatever, it's that this 3rd party is being allowed in your home and inbetween your marriage.

It's virtual women / men coming between you and him.

First you need to stop watching it, before you can comfront him about this - if you can't stop watching it, forget about this whole issue.

If you can stop watching it, then you need to step up and tell him you want this to stop - set an ultimatum and make sure it's not just reassurance to keep you quiet.

There are a lot of secrets going on in your marriage - and quite frankly i wouldn't take this "belated honeymoon" until you can resolve these matters as adults who love and respect each other.

At this point, i see no love and definitely no respect for each other! You both are living like singles in a dorm room.

Reevalute your priorities as a wife. Being a wife goes far and beyond being a good sexual partner. What do you want to bring into this marriage? Where do you see yourself 1 year from now? How much do you respect your husband and vice versa.

Do you really and truly believe that allowing this evil will enhance the wellbeing of your marriage?

Seriously, do you believe this evil will help your marriage thrive through the thick and the thin??

I had a very similar situation to this once with a serious boyfriend, and I didn't hold back, the thing I regret was getting angry, but I found he had been chatting with girls online exchanging dirty talk and even discussed meeting up with one of them. Yes all men watch porn, but a marriage needs trust and honesty to survive, talk to him, be gentle, and discuss perhaps watching it together, maybe he likes it because it's kinky and does not want to tell you as he thinks you will get jealous or be offended, but if you initiated watching it he may then involve you. A friend of mine once gave her fella a porno mag and put photos of her with them for a bit of a laugh, if you make it fun he may be more open about what he's doing and you can in turn feel part of his sexual fantasies as well. It's natural for men to do this, and it is also natural for you to feel left out and want to be his main focus, so don't be afraid to ask for what you want, and put your needs first as this is by no means an unreasonable ask.

He was probably like this before you got married and was good at hiding it until now. Have you explained that you don't mind the porn?? Maybe you should buy him a couple of porn DVD's and ask him to watch them with you. Or go on his computer with your "toy" and let him catch you!! Thats the only way I think you can get into his world,, if that doesn't work, then I would try counseling. Good luck little mamma!! I hope in time it gets better :)

sounds like its become an obsession with him. my feeling is he'll want to have sex with his ideal porn type and thus will eventually feel compelled to cheat on you. its obviously not normal given the amount of time he's spending watching it and jerking off as well; so more than probably when he is having sex with you, he;s im aging you're someone foreign.

methinks u do need to have an honest conversation with him if he gets defensive and doesn't agree to get help (cos u have described an addiction) then ur marriage is probably over and from the sound of it. u will be better off without him

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You're reading too much into this. Men and women are wired differently. We are very visually stimulated and we need variety. He even told you this. You say that you have a successful, happy marriage, and you have a very active sex life by most peoples standards. Don't create a problem where none exists.

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I think you must confront him - not judgmentally - but emphasize key facts:

1. you don't understand why if you're willing in the morning, he isn't available for you

2. you cannot change your genetic structure, so you want to know what the attraction to certain Asian women would be

Next time he uses your computer, conveniently leave your entire post visible. If he doesnt get the message, tell him.