Is this fair in a relationship?

My wife has never ever celebrated my birthday, our wedding anniversary, valentines day or even have wished me a happy new year sincerely. She has never said I love you. It is impossible for her to say sorry when she is wrong. I have always celebrated hers and made her special. She would remember dates like a calendar. Yet she never once remembered our anniversary. We have beautiful wedding pictures that my children have never seen. I don’t even know where they are. She is a good mother to my children and she has been a good housewife. So I have been with her all these years ignoring my feelings. I have always been nice to her. I don't have any bad habits. I don't drink or smoke. My children are big and they are quick to point a finger at me like their mother for the smallest of things but never say anything to her. They are like, scared of her. They have always ignored even the most obvious of things when it came to her. I have questioned myself why it is this way. For the sake of the children and the family I have kept it to myself. It has always been children, her friends and family first. I am always last in her list. Sometimes I am not even there. She loves to go out with her friends and stays late. Never went on vacation with me and the children. I have always provided well and we have everything to be happy. Yet this has haunted me for more than twenty odd years. This is the life I have known in my adult years. I am an optimistic person. I always think it is going to be better tomorrow. I want the best for her and my children. I have asked her to go to counseling with me and have tried to communicate with her about this. She wants no part of that. In her mind she does not see a problem. She does not want to leave me either. According to her I am the worst person this this whole wide world. If our marriage was a mistake why would she have three children with me????? I feel so bad if I leave her my children may not hesitate to break their relationships. What is my next step should be??????