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Dealing with jealousy over a partner's sexual past?

So I'm a college freshman, nearly 19 years old, and I haven't yet dated anyone, I'm a virgin. But I've read a lot about sex, so it's not like I'm clueless. However, I feel it's safe to assume that most girls in the age range I'd be looking to date in college probably won't be virgins themselves. Part of me is okay with this, but another feels a bit jealous over it. I'd be losing my virginity to someone who'd already lost theirs to someone who wasn't me. Logically, I know it probably shouldn't matter, they're with me and not them and all that. It would also depend on how many people they'd slept with and under what circumstances. But there are times I feel a mix of anger, jealousy and a little resentment when I think about it. Maybe I'm letting my primal instincts get to my head too much. How am I supposed to know if they really value me and our relationship, and maybe even wish I'd been their first, or if I'm just another notch on the post to them? Any help would be appreciated

3 Answers

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  • 5 years ago

    I've been thinking a lot about this myself lately and here's what I came up with. I rather be with someone who knows what they are doing and be gentle with me than have a guy have no idea what he is doing. Would it be nice if he lost it to me? Yes but a guy like that is hard to come by. You don't know if he is going to play you or not but wouldn't you like to take a risk and see where it leads you? You could end up with a broken heart or the guy you'll be spending the rest of you're life with. Cliché I know but I hoped this helped!

  • 5 years ago

    I think what you're feeling is normal. I'd also want to be the guy a girl loses her virginity to. Maybe it makes us feel more special in a way. Maybe it makes the moment more special for you. Also, with STDs being so prevalent today, it's safer to do it with a virgin. So, really, if you want to change the way you feel, you have to change the way you look at it.

  • 5 years ago

    accept your girlfriends past because it has made her who she is today. let it go, and just be happy that she chooses to be with you

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