My bf's daughter stole from my house. I think I should tell both parents, not only my bf. What do you think?

Question

It's been 1st time that the daughter has been on her own in my house. She was very unpolite, left dirty dishes, bed undone (my house is always tidy and cosy), ate food and left all dirty. But what was worse is that she took my son's ipad charger. When I asked my bf, her dad, to see whether she had taken, she said no. I said the charger was there and she was using for her phone, she said that it's true she took it but it was hers, she claimed to have left it at mine last sleep over (nearly 2 months ago). In any case, even if it was hers, she should have said before removing anything from my home. It is not the only issue my bf has with her - indeed both daughters are very problematic and he is struggling. I will do my bits with her (i.e. she is no longer to step into my house till I have full reassurance that she is respectful to her dad and me, and she is not to eat my food and benefit from my home, that's a given; if it had been my own son to have done that, I would have straight taken him to the police, that's also for sure but can't do that with my bf's kids, and it is not up to me to educate them). But I have a strong feeling that I should let her mom know too. Point is: if my son had done something at my ex's partner or anywhere else, I would really want to know. In fact, I'd go livid with the adults if my son did any of this and they didn't tell me. Am I wrong? Should I just keep this for me and my Bf to handle? (well...really I don't want to handle...)

Helen · Answer

What does her father say?
Police will do nothing over an alleged stolen charger, and there's no proof she stole it anyway. What if it really WAS hers? Calling the police or telling her mum would only sour relations between you. Try talking to her. She's your partner's daughter, ergo she is a package deal. She is going to be in your life for as long as you remain with this guy, so you may as well try to make it work.

beenthere · Answer

And the charger is what- under $ 15 at Wal-mart.  Is it worth your relationship with your bf?   She is a kid who believes the charger is one she left months ago.  It is hers in her belief system. Thus the attitude.

I think the attitude stems from her being told she had to stay over and the custody issues. Gosh she hasn't done so for 2 months. At 16 she wants to be with her peers not her father AND his gf. How long is this one going to last- or she ruined my parent's marriage so my life is miserable.  Her attitude is it is her Dad'd food, too not yours. Heck, I am not wanted here.

Ann · Answer

Well, if your bf sticks up for this little thief/disrespectful person and won't confront the issue, then you'd better start looking for a new bf.  That may be the reason she's acting this way--to drive you apart.

Anonymous · Answer

A charger? Really? I have a half dozen of these stupid things all over the place. They cost about a dollar online. What the hell is the big deal here?

Him · Answer

Do not contact her mother. That is up to her father to do. If you do, the mother will get defensive and think you are making things up about her daughter. Leave it up to him.

Pearl L · Answer

i wouldve told the police, she'll learn real fast its not cool to do that

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My bf's daughter stole from my house. I think I should tell both parents, not only my bf. What do you think?

6 Answers