I believe I've had an experience of sexual abuse by one of my relatives but I don't know if my case is sexual abuse.?

Question

I was little either 6 or 7, it was just me, my twin brother and my aunt at home. My parents were at different places for their own business and my sisters were definitely away from home at the time. My aunt is dead but I've always hated her for owning my dad who is her brother, taking advantage of my mom, disliking my mom, trying to make me and my siblings as if we belong to her, and being queen of the world. But the story is I was upstairs in my mom's bathroom playing in a tub of warm water, she came in through the door and looking back at it I realized she was looking for me. For some reason she stripped down on me and joined me in the tub. I can say for one thing that she didn't fondle with me, didn't get laid with me, except play with me naked in the tub. However, the point is that I didn't understand, especially why she would strip down naked in front of my face when I was little. The way that I could imagine why is that she was trying to get me to like her more; looking back at it, it was quite delightful for me to see her naked body just on occasions but I certainly did not appreciate what she intended to do. I don't if what my aunt did to me is considered sexual abuse but one thing I did was keeping it secret from my parents because I am to respect elders. If I told my parents earlier then I would've expected that they deal with her seriously; but if my aunt really got laid on me then my parents would make sure she doesn't come back. Is this sexual abuse to you?

Foofa · Answer

A lot of parents take showers with their kids until they're three or four, but rarely six and not usually a non parent like an aunt. Hard to know what she was up to but she's dead now so unless you're just looking to destroy her memory and draw attention to yourself there's really no need to talk about it. Doesn't sound like she even touched you. I'd get over it and worry more about what's happening in your life now.

James Blackley · Answer

I wouldn't say it was sexual abuse-

Sexual abuse is any type of abuse that is sexual in nature, the key thing is there has to be sexual intentions done by the abuser to his or her victim! I'm going to be honest I am not seeing any sexual intentions from your Aunt towards you when yiou were younger, it would be unfair of me to accuse her of such a serious allegation.

I do find what she did was inapporpriate, however! At 6/7 years old, there is no reason why an adult should be showering/bathing with a child, none! At 6/7 children are fully capable of bathing themselves, without any parental assistance, the only thing that should be done is supervision by waiting outside the door. I don't understand your aunts motivations here, because its perplexing to me that she would feel the need to be naked with nephew!

I have nieces and nephews (who are all 7 and under), and I have never been naked with any of them! I have supervised my nephews at bath time, but I have never been in the bath with them while they bathed. There is a thing called privacy and boundaries, and I feel your aunt, crossed some major lines by getting naked with you in the bath.

Emily J · Answer

I agree, it is inappropriate for anyone other than the parent to bathe with the children.  Abuse though, no since she did not fondle or anything else while in the tub.

JimTom · Answer

A little inappropriate, but not abuse. She didnt touch you or touch herself, its common for parents to bathe or shower with their young kids, but this is a bit odd. Not anything to fret about though, especially if its a one off

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I believe I've had an experience of sexual abuse by one of my relatives but I don't know if my case is sexual abuse.?

4 Answers