admiredi

Fun ones too- for instance I just heard one that ...

If a chicken crosses the road its poultry in motion!

five short jokes

ONE

Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. 'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter.

'You don't?' I replied.

'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.

'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'

'That's right.'

So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets

TWO

I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.

After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the 'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, 'Do you know how much this

is?'

I said to her 'I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today.'

She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.

She had no clue to what had just happened.

THREE

A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.

When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.'

FOUR

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. ' Do you need some help?' I asked. She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'

'Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.

'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys to me.

As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk.'

FIVE

Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?'

'Just use copier machine paper,' the secretary told her.

With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.

I know someone whom because of hard times is without a lisence, car, and lacks a desent work history- They are willing to do anykind of work- yet can not find employment anywhere-

What if you knew someone who was on the verge of homelessness and wanted to get on thier feet how would you advise them to find work?

Oh they will not be able to drive for 1 year minimum...

No money for the bus...

this is truly a person who wants to work- yet has been looking for months!

We are going to be in Seattle 2 blocks from Space needleand arrive at 5:00pm on Sat night-

suggestions for that evening and Sunday are greatly appreciated...

Resterants for evening meal- No reservations if possible

Day things to do(we have a rental car) - Sunday- Are most things open on Sunday there?

No money or Insurance but have suspicion Son has ADD-?

What can I do He is 26-!

Salutations... such as Goodbye/ And responses to how ya doing?

See ya later alligatorr- or

After while - Crocodile-

My favorites Are:

LATER / TATOR

Peachy keen/ Jelly bean

In the gutter/ peanutbutter

and all time favorite is...How are you?

Answer..." Finer than Frogs hair!"

Can you name some more!

Without the computer!-

A couple is lying in bed. The man says,

"I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."

The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."

I do sit still for long periods of time and work on the PC at my job I have changed my mouse and still I have trouble with my hand going numb- What could be the cause of this?

Brothers and sisters have I none but this mans father is my fathers son? Who is this?

The ? is decieving!

and without it there is no forever - It can be found at the begining of the end and the end of time?

Now is this a homicide or suicide?...

The answer- is niether its only a misdemeanor- an OBSCENE CLONE FALL

Mybe one with DVD additions with interviews etc about the real charachters and true stories... I also like Musicals dramas and time traveling type of movies-

Does anyone still enjoy this hobby? I have been excited about starting a new old hobby I once enjoyed as a kid- Other than E-bay where does one find quality stamps?

On Oprah today- missed the original show- Have been to the website but wanted to know what others who have been introduced to this movie/book/way of life think. I want to get this ASAP- please share what youhave expierenced with this so far-

I want to know if staying on grounds ina premium hotel and the food package is worth it- I have looked into the premium and platinum packages - but wonder if for 2 adults 5 days is a little over 4,000.00 worth it?

Also this would be during December 2007!

For a conutry singer (male) who sings... here are some of the lyrics...

Beautiful baby from the outside in...Chasin dreams

chorus ends with You'll always be my little girl?

I think...

need this for my Dad

Two clones are standing on top of a tall sky scraper and one pushes the other to thier death... Murder or suicide or...?

What is at the begining of the end and the start of eternity at the same time?

Christian Sience religion- I like the christian aspect but am very unsure of the rest, Only serious answers are considered!