EstDerpina

My boyfriend was diagnosed with chronic bronchitis in summer 2015, after a cough that didn't go away for 2 months. He doesn't smoke but both his parents do. They do it several times a day and in the living room (I know, I was shocked as well). My boyfriend lived at home for 19 years until he went to uni - so 19 years of intense passive smoking. The disease had apparently been hiding for a while and it was revealed after he'd been living on his own for a while. He now has to use an inhaler with prescription medicine 2 times a day. on top of other things. Is it just me or could his passive smoking and chronic bronchitis be connected? It just tears me up to think that his parents, lovely people otherwise, have been the cause for their son's shitty health in his early 20s and possibly for the rest of his life :(

Ever since I've been having some funds of my own, I've discovered I actually enjoy giving Christmas gifts a lot more than receiving them. I don't mean the hectic shopping part - I find that as annoying and stressful as anyone. But once I've wrapped the gift, thought it through well and my family member/ friend/ significant other is opening it, I love to see their expression and reaction. It brings me joy to see that they appreciate the thought and love I've put into it. I don't expect or assume anything from the gifts that I get, I'm just very grateful and humbled if I receive anything at all. What are your thoughts?

As someone who goes to university and a SO in the same position (we've been together for 2 years, lived together for 6 months), I still spend Christmas with my family and he goes home to his. But New Year's Eve we always spend together. Is it the same with you?

Is it just me or is that true? Ever since me and my boyfriend got together, both of us get approached a lot more when we go out with our separate friends. Do we now give off a different vibe? What do you think?

I've been together with my other half for 1,5 years and lived together for the last 3 months of it. Since I moved in in July, things were great during the summer. We had a healthy balance of shared adventures, lazy days and separate time with our families. We're both 21. Now, however, since our third year of uni started - I'm a music teacher, he's an engineer, we're both studying AND working - things have been going not so well. Our sleeping schedule isn't in sync, because he's the most productive studying at night, whereas I get everything done during the day. As a result, he feels guilty for every moment he isn't studying and also for not spending enough time with me. I used to have a late job, but in the new place the work hours are 8.30am-5am and on other days uni doesn't last longer than 6pm either. So I get home, sleepy, maybe read a book or do some assignments and then go to bed before midnight. However, this is when my lad's real work begins. And at 4am he'll accidentally wake me by climbing into bed to finally sleep. And in the morning I'll wake at 7am and he'll just sleep for a few more hours and basically our communication these days is very limited. We try to do something together one night a week, but the last two weeks he had to cancel the date nights because he felt guilty for the time he'd lose not studying. I was a bit hurt, but didn't want to upset him. However he did notice and now he thinks I'm sad and depressed every time he does something without me.

My boyfriend and I have recently moved in together in a dorm room and we're looking for ways to put the two single beds together as one. They both have a metal frame at the top and bottom parts but nothing is higher than the mattress level on the sides. The question is - how are we going sleep/ cuddle comfortably at night without ending up in the gap and pushing the beds apart during the night with our body weight? We thought about getting an additional double-bed mattress on top of the beds, but would that be sufficient? Do we need to tie/ tape the bed's feet together or stuff the gap between the beds/ mattresses with something soft? What would you suggest? Thanks!

My boyfriend and I had been dating for a year and two months prior to moving in together this June. Today I had to go to my hometown for a while and as he was seeing me off to the bus that would take me there, he said he's actually more sad because of me leaving now that we're living together than he used to be when we just saw each other once a week. He said that he could easily resume his other activities after our meetings in the old days, whereas now it makes him gloomy to see our shared room empty and to go to sleep without me. For me it's actually quite the opposite. I used to be on the verge of tears every time we said goodbye because I wanted to spend more time with him and due to our conflicting schedules it was nearly impossible. However, now that we share a place, I am able to go to other places relaxed, knowing that I have our shared place and him to come home to.

Has any of you experienced something like this? Which point of view of the two would you have more likely?

He thinks it would be good for me. We're 20 and 21 and have been in a relationship over a year. He was clinically depressed before, although while we've been together he's been happy and alright. He's had a few breakdown episodes during stressful exam periods, though. I was there with him and tried my best to comfort him.

However, it's me he's worried about. I've always had self-esteem issues and over our time together I've often felt sad or guilty about things I can't change or just felt really bad about myself for no reason. I would cry when he was elsewhere and I've also been very emotional with him as well a few times, to the point of tears. Thing is, even though I feel unsure or sad, I've never really been depressed. I see all these people with problems so much worse than mine and everything I feel sad about feels like nonsense then. My boyfriend doesn't get it that with his talk of how I need a psychiatrist, he's just driving me further away. I do not wish to see a psychiatrist, neither do I need one. Am I being unreasonable or is he right?

He thinks it would be good for me. We're 20 and 21 and have been in a relationship over a year. He was clinically depressed before, although while we've been together he's been happy and alright. He's had a few breakdown episodes during stressful exam periods, though. I was there with him and tried my best to comfort him.

However, it's me he's worried about. I've always had self-esteem issues and over our time together I've often felt sad or guilty about things I can't change or just felt really bad about myself for no reason. I would cry when he was elsewhere and I've also been very emotional with him as well a few times, to the point of tears. Thing is, even though I feel unsure or sad, I've never really been depressed. I see all these people with problems so much worse than mine and everything I feel sad about feels like nonsense then. My boyfriend doesn't get it that with his talk of how I need a psychiatrist, he's just driving me further away. I do not wish to see a psychiatrist, neither do I need one. Am I being unreasonable or is he right?

We're both 20, in uni and have been together over a year. Everything's going great and we really enjoy each other's company when we see each other. The thing is, we don't see that often, because we go to different universities and I also work 3-4 evenings a week. Also some weekends we go to our family homes, which are not in this town. So all in all we see like once a week.

During the time we're on our own, he spends a lot of time with girls. That's because there are many girls in his major and he's always had many female friends. They're all mostly nice people and I trust my boyfriend completely and know that he wouldn't look at me like he does if he didn't love me. Still, I can't help but get nervous sometimes. Most of the girls are much prettier and much more interesting than me. And his 2 best friends, also girls, are very close to him, as in, he spends all his time in uni with them and often goes out with them to bars or something. Am I weird for being a bit anxious, even though there isn't any serious reason for that? I'm a girl and most of my friends are females.

After several issues (mainly psychological and well-being) with my previous birth control pill I consulted with my gynecologist and switched to a different pill with less ostrogen in it. I took the first pill of this completely new pack on the first day of my previous period, as instructed. I was told I'd get my next period during the 4 placebo pill days at the end of that pill pack (which is now, I took the first of these placebo pills last evening). I'm taking the 2nd one tomorrow. Should I be worried that my period hasn't arrived yet? Or could it be a bit irregular on the first month after switching?

Thanks!

Edit

We're both 20, go to separate uni's in the same town but we originally come from locations that are about 2 hours drive from each other. We've been together for 10 lovely months, but we both still live in separate dorms. Since he has a lot of studying to do and I have both studying and work, we get to see each other once-twice a week at best. When it's the exam session or holidays, we don't see for longer periods. While parted, we talk on the phone every day and generally miss each other a lot. He'll tell me he just wants to kiss or hold me so much right now and I'll sometimes shed a tear after the call ends because there's nothing I want more from my day than his closure, which I can't have for logistical and other reasons. Some more background info - we both value our individuality greatly, but he's continually mentioned how he'd like to wake up with me every morning and I've dreamed of moving in with him for ages. However I don't know how to bring the topic up because he doesn't yet know if he'll have to go to the army for 11 months and also he just gemerally doesn't like to plan ahead long periods and wants to take things in a calm tempo. I think I've been mentally ready for that step for a while now. I know if we lived together, there'd be tensions sometimes and we'd get into arguments about money because I work and he doesn't (his major in uni takes up most of his time), but I'm so willing to try anyway. How do I best suggest this?

So my lad's great. He's caring, sweet and has a marvellous sense of humor, very snarky and dark at times, but I like it. One problem though is that even though he might have the best intentions, he sometimes says things to his friends or me and they come out very harsh/ inconsiderate. For example, he tries to get me motivated to stop scrolling and go studying, but he says it in a way that makes me want to do it even less. Like "get your **** together", "you'll be really ****** if you don't start right now", "you could've started ages ago, it's your own fault you lack time now". Which is all right in a way, I suppose, but as his girlfriend he's the first person I go to for sympathy and comfort when times are rough and sometimes he just shoots these sayings. He made his coursemate cry once, because he told her the harsh truth about how ****** they were without even trying to sugarcoat anything. I, too, like when people are straightforward, but from him it's sometimes too much. He just doesn't realize that when he says those things, people might feel hurt afterwards. And a few weeks ago we had a little argument because he sensed that I'm keeping such thoughts to myself and asked me to tell him when he's being an asshole, because he usually doesn't notice it himself. He says he doesn't want to be like that with me and that it's not okay and he doesn't want me to silently bear that and for things to escalate somehow. But I can't just tell him to quit being an asshole, can I? ugh

So over last night I got this following email exactly 14 times.

Dear xxxxxxxxx,

We’ve received your request to withdraw money from your PayPal account to your card:

Requested withdrawal amount: 28,00 EUR

Card: XXXXX-XXXX

Transaction ID:XXXXXXXXXX

It usually takes 1-2 business days for the withdrawal to complete, but in a few cases, depending on your card issuer, it could take up to 30 days.

Sincerely,

PayPal

What does this mean? I have done nothing to provoke this. Should I be worried?

I have lesson in the morning, but right now the throat's so bad and painful I can't even fall asleep. However it could always get better by morning. My question is - should I still play while my throat's all swollen and red? I have choir on the same day - I won't be singing to not put an unnecessary strain on my voice. Does playing sax work the same way for my throat or is it different?

My boyfriend has been having a cough for months now. He also has a mild pain in his lungs sometimes. He gets fatigued easily and is a bit underweight. Recently he's been having a fever frequently, although that could just be a common cold or weakened immune system. He got his lungs x-rayed some months ago and the results said there's nothing wrong with him. His regular doctor didn't know either. He was put on hold for military duty as well because of his lungs and low weight. Soon he should have a pulmonology doctor appointment, but if he could really have tuberculosis (because most of the symptoms suggest it), why didn't it somehow show up on the x-ray? Also, until his diagnosis, am I at risk when I spend time with him? My mom told me her mom once got tuberculosis, because a child with tuberculosis was sitting on her lap and breathing in her face. If my lad also has this, surely I'm most at risk because not only do I go near him but also kiss him and stuff? I'm so scared, most of all for him but also for myself and my loved ones as well :s

We have been together since March of this year. Currently we still live at separate dorms, because we go to different universities. But they're still in the same town. The thing is, neither mine nor his roommate will leave the dorm very often. So we always have logistics problems when we want to stay with each other overnight. Lately he has been telling me all the time how nice it'd be to wake up together every day and for me to be the first thing he sees when he wakes. I feel exactly the same and actually have been thinking of moving in together for a few months now. On our second month together I remember his old roommate left and I jokingly told him "if only your uni allowed music students, I'd gladly be your roommate". He said he'd probably get a new roommate soon and that it was a little too early for us to move in together anyway. At that time I agreed. But now, over half a year later I'm wondering - when is it not too early anymore? There's nothing I want more than to come home to him after my long days at work and uni and everything would be so much easier. It doesn't even have to be a flat or something fancy. a double dorm room will do just fine. I'm not interested in cool interior, I just want to spend the next years of my life with the one I love. And he's been mentioning the mornings he gets to spend with me are his favourites, so do you think he could be ready?

I don't usually drink coffee daily, but I work half-time in a cafe and today me and some of my coworkers went to a coffee course, where we learned how to make espressos, cappuccinos, lattes etc. We practised many times and mostly drank all the drinks we created. All in all, I had like 2 espressos, 6 cappuccinos and a latte. After the course ended, I felt buzzing at first, then my hands started shaking, then I got really hyper and overenergized and an hour later needed to go to the toilet all the time and I felt really sick to my stomach. I'm not going to drink any more coffee anytime soon, but what I did today, can this be harmful in the long term?

If you're in a relationship with someone, do you think of them also as your best friend, besides the physical attraction? I mean I still have my old best friend as close to me as ever, but I feel I can find as much common ground and things to talk about with my boyfriend as well? Will a relationship even work if people won't consider their significant other their best friend?

I'm a tall girl, 182 cm (about 6 ft), and my lovely boyfriend is at least 10 cm-s (about 4 inches?) shorter than me. We're doing beautifully and I don't mind the height difference at all. He also said that tall girls are a huge turn on, although he sometimes feels sad he can't tower over me. Basically, we're both quite okay with that, but I don't understand, why do most people have to be so shallow and judge couples by their height differences? Why is a really tall guy and a short girl considered adorable, but a couple of the same height or with the girl taller isn't? And don't tell me about male dominance or "that's just how nature works", I want to know how come it's 2015 and this still isn't widely accepted?

Thank you for your opinion!