PEGGY S

I am going through a rough patch right now. I really don't want a relationship, but this guy keeps imposing himself into my life. I am a kind person, but this is getting annoying. He is neither my type, nor even someone I could respect enough for a relationship. In my opinion, he is lazy and irresponsible. Now I need to know how to turn him off. (I did not intentionally turn him on. I was just being my normal friendly self.) I have told him how I feel, and he says we are only friends, but he just won't stop trying for more. Should I just avoid him altogether or what? I just hate to be mean, since he really is nice to me. What should I do?

I do not have a lot to spend, so I need to make this a worthwhile buy. I will be selling things online, so I will need a camera to present my products and is easy to share online. I do not know anything about digital cameras, so any info will be appreciated.

I have 5 men's stockings to put two gifts into. One has to be under $5 and the other under $10. Then I have a 45 year old man that does not smoke or drink to buy a gift under $25. He does hunt, but I can't think of anything unique that he might not have already. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. We live in the South, if that helps.

I have 5 men's stockings to put two gifts into. One has to be under $5 and the other under $10. Then I have a 45 year old man that does not smoke or drink to buy a gift under $25. He does hunt, but I can't think of anything unique that he might not have already. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. We live in the South, if that helps.

The 1st Affair

>

> A married man was having an affair

>

> with his secretary.

>

> One day they went to her place

>

> and made love all afternoon.

>

> Exhausted, they fell asleep

>

> and woke up at 8 PM.

>

> The man hurriedly dressed

>

> and told his lover to take his shoes

>

> outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.

>

> He put on his shoes and drove home.

>

> 'Where have you been?' his wife demanded.

>

> 'I can't lie to you,' he replied,

>

> 'I'm having an affair with my secretary.

>

> We had sex all afternoon.'

>

> She looked down at his shoes and said:

>

> 'You lying bastard!

>

> You've been playing golf!'

>

>

>

>

>

> The 2nd Affair

>

> A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters

>

> but always talked about having a son.

>

> They decided to try one last time

>

> for the son they always wanted.

>

> The wife got pregnant

>

> and delivered a healthy baby boy.

>

> The joyful father rushed to the nursery

>

> to see his new son.

>

> He was horrified at the ugliest child

>

> he had ever seen.

>

> He told his wife: 'There's no way I can

>

> be the father of this baby.

>

> Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!

>

> Have you been fooling around behind my back?'

>

> The wife smiled sweetly and replied:

>

> 'Not this time!'

>

>

>

>

> The 3rd Affair

>

> A mortician was working late one night.

>

> He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz,

>

> about to be cremated,

>

> and made a startling discovery.

>

> Schwartz had the largest private part

>

> he had ever seen!

>

> 'I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz,' the mortician

>

> commented, 'I can't allow you to be cre mated

>

> with such an impressive private part.

>

> It must be saved for posterity.'

>

> So, he removed it,

>

> stuffed it into his briefcase,

>

> and took it home

>

> 'I have something to show

>

> you won't believe,' he said to his wife,

>

> opening his briefcase.

>

> 'My God!' the wife exclaimed,

>

> 'Schwartz is dead!'

>

>

>

>

> The 4th Affair

>

> A woman was in bed with her lover

>

> when she heard her husband

>

> opening the front door.

>

> 'Hurry,' she said, 'stand in the corner.'

>

> She rubbed baby oil all over him,

>

> then dusted him with talcum powder.

>

> 'Don't move until I tell you,'

>

> she said, 'pretend you're a statue.'

>

> 'What's this?' the husband inquired

>

> as he entered the room.

>

> 'Oh it's a statue,' she replied,

>

> 'the Smiths bought one and I liked it

>

> so I got one for us, too.'

>

> No more was said,

>

> not even when they went to bed.

>

> Around 2 AM the husband got up,

>

> went to the kitchen and returned

>

> with a sandwich and a beer.

>

> 'Here,' he said to the statue, have this.

>

> I stood like that for two days at the Smiths

>

> and nobody offered me a damned thing.'

>

>

>

>

> The 5th Affair

>

> A man walked into a cafe,

>

> went to the bar and ordered a beer.

>

> 'Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent.'

>

> 'One Cent?' the man exclaimed.

>

> He glanced at the menu and asked:

>

> 'How much for a nice juicy steak

>

> and a bottle of w ine?'

>

> 'A nickel,' the barman replied.

>

> 'A nickel?' exclaimed the man.

>

> 'Where's the guy who owns this place?'

>

> The bartender replied:

>

> 'Upstairs, with my wife.'

>

> The man asked: 'What's he doing upstairs

>

> with your wife?'

>

> The bartender replied:

>

> 'The same thing I'm doing

>

> to his business down here.'

>

>

>

>

> The 6th Affair

>

> Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.

>

> He looked up and said weakly:

>

> 'I have something I must confess.'

>

> 'There's no need to, 'his wife replied.

>

> 'No,' he insisted,

>

> 'I want to die in peace.

>

> I slept with your sister, your best friend,

>

> her best friend, and your mother!'

>

> 'I know,' she replied,

>

> 'now just rest and let the poison work.'

The 1st Affair

>

> A married man was having an affair

>

> with his secretary.

>

> One day they went to her place

>

> and made love all afternoon.

>

> Exhausted, they fell asleep

>

> and woke up at 8 PM.

>

> The man hurriedly dressed

>

> and told his lover to take his shoes

>

> outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.

>

> He put on his shoes and drove home.

>

> 'Where have you been?' his wife demanded.

>

> 'I can't lie to you,' he replied,

>

> 'I'm having an affair with my secretary.

>

> We had sex all afternoon.'

>

> She looked down at his shoes and said:

>

> 'You lying bastard!

>

> You've been playing golf!'

>

>

>

>

>

> The 2nd Affair

>

> A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters

>

> but always talked about having a son.

>

> They decided to try one last time

>

> for the son they always wanted.

>

> The wife got pregnant

>

> and delivered a healthy baby boy.

>

> The joyful father rushed to the nursery

>

> to see his new son.

>

> He was horrified at the ugliest child

>

> he had ever seen.

>

> He told his wife: 'There's no way I can

>

> be the father of this baby.

>

> Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!

>

> Have you been fooling around behind my back?'

>

> The wife smiled sweetly and replied:

>

> 'Not this time!'

>

>

>

>

> The 3rd Affair

>

> A mortician was working late one night.

>

> He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz,

>

> about to be cremated,

>

> and made a startling discovery.

>

> Schwartz had the largest private part

>

> he had ever seen!

>

> 'I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz,' the mortician

>

> commented, 'I can't allow you to be cre mated

>

> with such an impressive private part.

>

> It must be saved for posterity.'

>

> So, he removed it,

>

> stuffed it into his briefcase,

>

> and took it home

>

> 'I have something to show

>

> you won't believe,' he said to his wife,

>

> opening his briefcase.

>

> 'My God!' the wife exclaimed,

>

> 'Schwartz is dead!'

>

>

>

>

> The 4th Affair

>

> A woman was in bed with her lover

>

> when she heard her husband

>

> opening the front door.

>

> 'Hurry,' she said, 'stand in the corner.'

>

> She rubbed baby oil all over him,

>

> then dusted him with talcum powder.

>

> 'Don't move until I tell you,'

>

> she said, 'pretend you're a statue.'

>

> 'What's this?' the husband inquired

>

> as he entered the room.

>

> 'Oh it's a statue,' she replied,

>

> 'the Smiths bought one and I liked it

>

> so I got one for us, too.'

>

> No more was said,

>

> not even when they went to bed.

>

> Around 2 AM the husband got up,

>

> went to the kitchen and returned

>

> with a sandwich and a beer.

>

> 'Here,' he said to the statue, have this.

>

> I stood like that for two days at the Smiths

>

> and nobody offered me a damned thing.'

>

>

>

>

> The 5th Affair

>

> A man walked into a cafe,

>

> went to the bar and ordered a beer.

>

> 'Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent.'

>

> 'One Cent?' the man exclaimed.

>

> He glanced at the menu and asked:

>

> 'How much for a nice juicy steak

>

> and a bottle of w ine?'

>

> 'A nickel,' the barman replied.

>

> 'A nickel?' exclaimed the man.

>

> 'Where's the guy who owns this place?'

>

> The bartender replied:

>

> 'Upstairs, with my wife.'

>

> The man asked: 'What's he doing upstairs

>

> with your wife?'

>

> The bartender replied:

>

> 'The same thing I'm doing

>

> to his business down here.'

>

>

>

>

> The 6th Affair

>

> Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.

>

> He looked up and said weakly:

>

> 'I have something I must confess.'

>

> 'There's no need to, 'his wife replied.

>

> 'No,' he insisted,

>

> 'I want to die in peace.

>

> I slept with your sister, your best friend,

>

> her best friend, and your mother!'

>

> 'I know,' she replied,

>

> 'now just rest and let the poison work.'

after they get into relationships. I know more men that have huge beer bellies, wear torn up nasty looking shirts like they were prizes, and do not take regular baths just because they already have their "old lady".

It is not the normal for either gender not to take care of themselves just because they are in a relationship. They just are seen in situation where it is more comfortable or more practical to wear something that might not look great on them. Both usually eat more, because they are not on the go so much that they miss meals.

Most men have more time for working out, because when many of the wives or gfs get home they are usually expected to cook dinner, take care of the kids, wash clothes, and be sure that the house stays clean.

I say let it go. Love should never be about looks.

Any rebuttles??

Is it the mystery? Is it the nurturing? Or what

PLEASE GUYS OVER 30 ANSWER ONLY!!

I am a female Libra born 10/10/53. Things have been rough both financially and emotionally this past year. What do I have to look forward to for next year? This year has been horrible!!!

I met this guy about 6 months ago. He was great, but I noticed a change after a month or so. Come to find out that he was getting over a previous gf of 3 yrs. but he has known her for 25 years. They had only been apart 8 months.

All of a sudden, she seems to be back in the picture. She doesn't want him, but she wants him to still want her.

I really care about this guy, but I am beginning to feel taken for granted, and somewhat used.

What can I do to make him realize what he has in me? He says that he loves me, but I know that he still has love for her too.

He gets angry every time I try to talk to him about the situation. He says that I should not even bring it up. That just frustrates me more.

I need a strategy to turn him around, or I am out of there.

I met this guy about 6 months ago. He was great, but I noticed a change after a month or so. Come to find out that he was getting over a previous gf of 3 yrs. but he has known her for 25 years. They had only been apart 8 months.

All of a sudden, she seems to be back in the picture. She doesn't want him, but she wants him to still want her.

I really care about this guy, but I am beginning to feel taken for granted, and somewhat used.

What can I do to make him realize what he has in me? He says that he loves me, but I know that he still has love for her too.

We are adults, so no kiddie games please.

We are adults, so no kiddie games please.

Any good jokes out there to make me forget that I got rid of my bf last week and have no one to spend my b-day with!!

I am still confused about this guy. You see I am from the city, New Orleans, and he is from the country in Mississippi. He is also a few years younger than me, but not a huge difference. I am not used to guys jumping in head first, but this one appears to have.

He tells me that I am his "Fairytale Princess", and that he hopes he knows how to keep me happy. Everything I say I like, or don't like, he remembers. It is like he is totally focused on me, but not in a stalking type way.

I would ordinarily run, but he is my type as far as looks go and he has a nice sense of humor, which is important to me.

Give me some clues, please!!! What should I expect that will be different from the normal city guy. Could he be for real?

When I met him, he was nice. After we dated, I realized that he did not treat me like I was used to being treated. I told him that I did not want to see him again, but he persisted. He is acting more like the person I thought he was now. He has become more respectful, and now says that he loves me. He says that I am different from the other women that he has been with, and he believes that I am the girl he will end up marrying.

I am not ready for the marriage part right now, but my question is this---Do guys sincerely change if they fall hard enough for a girl, or is this just an act? I just hate to waste my time, because I will kick him to the curb if he takes me for granted again.

I am a good woman that is not jumping into the sack with every Joe Blow. I take care of myself, and I always try to look especially nice when I am with a gentleman. I have a good job, and I am fairly well educated. Please tell me what you think about this situation.

I just can't help but think that he is BSing me. I am not sure if it is because I was deceived after a 12 year relationship, or what. I feel so insecure and even jealous. I hate insecurity and jealousy, and have never been this way before. I am always looking for him to deceive me. I guess what I need is to know is if I should just fully trust him, or continue to be suspicious. We live an hour apart, and I realize that long distance relationships are hard, but that isn't very far. He always tells me that he loves me, and talks about us eventually moving in together. Am I being unfair? Am I just to fragile right now to have a relationship with anyone right now?

It has been almost two years since the split, and I have not gotten involved with anyone else since. I would really love to have someone by my side. I am very attracted to him both physically and mentally. By the way, he is 9 years younger than me, but neither of us are really young, and I look young for my age.

Why is it that guys think we can't see through the BS they give us.?

This jerk tried to tell me how much he felt for me. He tried to get me to tell him that I loved him, but in the back of my mind something was not right. I asked if he had a gf, he said no, i asked if he had any complications in his life, he said no. What was that promise he made, "Oh baby, I would never lie to you." Today I find out that he has a gf, and about 5 other things that create way too much drama for me. Thank goodness I had the sense not to allow myself to fall for it.

What is it with these jerks anyway. How would he have felt if I tried to play him like he tried to play me? Don't they even care that we have feelings?

This jerk tried to tell me how much he felt for me. He tried to get me to tell him that I loved him, but in the back of my mind something was not right. I asked if he had a gf, he said no, i asked if he had any complications in his life, he said no. What was that promise he made, "Oh baby, I would never lie to you." Today I find out that he has a gf, and about 5 other things that create way too much drama for me. Thank goodness I had the sense not to allow myself to fall for it.

What is it with these jerks anyway. How would he have felt if I tried to play him like he tried to play me? Don't they even care that we have feelings?

Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!

The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife -- Cold As Ever'!"

"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Husband -- Stiff At Last'!"

Marriage (Part III)

Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.

Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house.

After some time he realizes he was nasty and

decides to make amends and rings her up.

She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer to the phone?"

She says, "I was in bed."

"In bed this early, doing what?"

"Getting a second opinion!"