McCanns - are secret meetings being held or are some just PARANOID?

I read a question tonight about a journalist 'deserving' an award and I have to say that I fell about laughing, although it was posted by someone who …well, let’s not go there. Anyway, Triptipper provided a link to a previous post of mine. A couple of other people have e-mailed me to say that I should post it again to give it a wider audience and to ask people if they recognised anyone (or even themselves) in the 'story'. It came about because of a little group of troublemakers constantly abusing and threatening any man, woman, dog or cuddle cat that dared to voice an opinion which suggested that the McCann parents did not deserve to win 'Parents of the Year'

So, without further ado and with a couple of subtle additions, here you go....there is a question, for those of a pedantic nature...it's in the title.

Are you sitting comfortably?

Then allow me to begin...

‘Twas a dark and stormy night in Middenraken, a quaint little village, just outside the border of Gallarothries. The moon could just be seen, peeking out from behind large, threatening clouds and the little light that shone through barely lit up the ‘Tuff Guys Inc.’ hostel. A hunched, dark figure was barely visible as he scurried across the courtyard carrying his satchel full of the latest BNP policy booklets (The writer apologises to the figure as he would object to being called ‘dark’ in view of his political allegiances).

‘Total Pitsss…Total Pitssssss. Pssssst!’ a voice whispered from out the darkness.

‘Wh…Who is it?’ asked the ‘lightly shaded’ figure (That should be ok)

‘S’me, you muppet…get over ‘ere fast!’

‘Ah, Roofus, how goes it, brother?

‘Don’t call me your brother, you loser. Tell me quickly, did you get it?’

‘Woofie, I did ma best, but….well, just as I was going to write his address down, that Dteecher bloke caught me writing in the diary and took my crayon off me…’

‘Damn it! I HATE that Daveed and the other people who don’t agree with us. First that Tipper gal proves too much for Jiminy and now, you fail abjectly as wel…Havie is nomore as well, she’s gone and left Jiminy because he disagreed with her racist views – what are we to do?’

‘Aaaaw, Woooooooofie, kanna ya jus let it go?’

‘You really are the Total Pits man…I can’t just go on lettingitbe, ya know’

‘Well, I did see quite a few of them at the meet, Woofie…there was dat Rosette there, and dat Fannella and dat Clairol Belt gurl and dat Chriss guy and dat Georgina woman and dat Skorpionbabette – they all came in a Carr which must have been bought in 2001 ‘cos it said Car51 on the number plate. Oh yeah, Woofie, Woooofie, lissen to this…the Social Services were there too!!!’

‘Is that it? I thought you told me there were more of ‘em?’

‘Yeah, yeah, there were, honest guv. Some guy called Murkia – he just kept smiling as if he was dead happy like. I think it was ‘cos that fairiefromEire was sat next to him. They were all drinking that drink…Bex or Becks…I forget…spit…oh, there was a bee there as well, she looked really busy.’

‘How do you know the bee was a she, Total Pits?’

‘Well, everyone kept calling her Honey ‘n er..erm..n e way, there were loads of others, I were reel scared they were gonna recognise me – in fact, a few times people screwed their noses up ‘n looked in my direction and I fink dat Neglekt bloke mentioned sumfink about a swamp but I think I got away wiv it, boss’

‘Yeah, but you didn’t get his friggin address…we can’t send the boys in unless we hav that, haven’t you got a brain? No, don’t answer that…’

‘ Well, I do keep trying Constancely, but it’s juss no’ happenin, Woooofie.’

‘Right forget it…looks like we are being outwitted and outclassed here AND it’s just started raining! Aaaargggh’

‘Here boss, put this on….’

‘What planet are you on? Saturn 6? Don’t you think I’ve got enough on my plato?’

‘Woofie, it’ll stop ya hair from gerrin wet…’

‘Why, what is it?’

…….

‘ It’s a bluebobblehat’

………………Good night and remember, sweet dreams….are full of calories. xx