Carrie C

My husband had to reconfigure our computer so I lost my itunes library. It had all of the songs that I downloaded from limewire. Now I want to redo the ipod but the songs that I have on the ipod are no longer on my computer. Can I put them from Ipod to Itunes library?

OK so I am not a romantic or anything but is there a statute of limitations on the whole dating thing? I have been married for 10 yrs and husband and I split checking accounts a few yrs ago to show him the stress of paying the bills and getting everyone their money. Recently the husband has been buying things like tent trailers, trucks, motorcycles, rifles, a welder, you know big ticket items. But I buy everything for the home, food, basic bils, power sewer water, phone. The other day, and its not the first time, he took me out to dinner. He ASKED ME OUT, and I had to pay the bill. We went to the bar for a beer tonite and I HAD TO PAY THE BILL. what the hell. If you ask someone out aren't you supposed topay the bill. We are trying to work things out after a hard rocky patch of the relationship and this just is feeding my anger any suggestions would help.

I have been married for 10 yrs. We have 2 kids together and 3 from his first marriage. I am his 3rd wife and he is my only husband. In the beginning we had the normal trobles but for the most part we were happy. Within the last 4yrs we had a few threesomes that we both totally regret. Ever since then our marriage has fallen apart. We are mean and hurtfull to each other, cannot be friends anymore and have drifted apart. I even left him and moved to another town 2 yrs ago, then he refused to let me see my kids so I got back together with him. But I never loved him like I used to. It has gotten to the point that I hate to even look at him, don't want him near me, we don't have sex anymore, for at least the last 6 months. And he is up and down about us. One minute he is lovey and the next spitting fire at me. He says that he wont see our boys go through what his first 3 did and so we are staying together. I have asked him to move out daily. But he wont go. What would you do?

Have you ever stopped to think whether the inanimate things around us also have genders? Believe it or not, they do! Check out these things we use in our daily lives, who would have though!?!

Ziploc bags are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

Copiers are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons Are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.

A tire is male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.

A hot air balloon is male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.

Sponges are female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water.

A web page is female, because it's always getting hit on.

A subway is male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

An hourglass is female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

A hammer is male, because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.

A remote control is female. Ha! You thought it'd be male, didn't you? But consider this - it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps! trying!

A man tells his wife that he's going out to buy cigarettes. When he gets to the store he finds out it's closed. So the guy ends up going to the bar to use the vending machine. While there, he has a few beers and begins talking to this beautiful girl. He has a few more beer and the next thing he knows he's in this girl's apartment and having quite a pleasurable time. The next thing he know it was 3:00 AM.

"Oh my, god, my wife is going to kill me!" he exclaimed. "Quick give me some talcum powder!"

She gets him some and he rubs it all over his hands. When he got home his wife is up waiting for him and she's furious. "Where the hell have you been!"

He says, "Well to tell you the truth, I went into a bar, had a few drinks, went home with this blonde and I slept with her." "Let me see your hands!" she demands. He shows his wife his powdery hands.

"Damn liar, you were out bowling again!"

Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"

A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are sperm samples???" , "DO IT!". So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks that one as well. Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, "See honey - its not that hard."

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey starts jumping all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them,then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.

The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?" The guy says, "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!" says the bartender. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He eats everything in sight, the little twerp. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves. Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again.

While the man is drinking, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" "Now what?" asks the patron. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!" says the barkeeper.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that damn cue ball he measures everything first!"

A man and his wife are awoken at 3 o'clock in the morning by a knock on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a stranger is asking for a push.

"Not a chance" says the husband -- "It's three o'clock in the morning!" He closes the door and returns to bed.

"Who was it?" asks his wife.

"Just a stranger asking for a push" he answers.

"Did you help him? she asks.

"No I didn't -- it's three in the morning"

"Well you've got a short memory" says his wife, "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down on holiday and those two guys helped us?. I think you should help him."

The man does as he is told and returns to the front door and calls out into the dark "Hello -- are you still there?"

"Yes", comes the answer.

"Do you still want a push?" calls out the husband.

"Yes please!" comes the reply from the dark.

"Where are you?" asks the husband

"Over here on the swing" the man replies.

At 3 AM a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy asking what time the bar opens.

"It opens at noon" answers the clerk.

About an hour later he gets a call from the same guy, sounding even drunker.

"What time does the bar open?" he asks.

"Same time as before... Noon." replies the clerk.

Another hour passes and he calls again, plastered "Whatjoo shay the bar opins at?"

The clerk then answers, "It opens at noon, but if you can't wait, I can have room service send something up to you."

"No... I don't wanna git in... Ah wanna git OUT!!!"

How did you get your nose in between his legs?

A baby boy was just born. He had all his pieces and looked quite normal, except that he was laughing - I mean laughing real hard. All the doctors and nurses were examining the little guy in front of his worried parents. He just kept on laughing, his tiny fists all closed and tears rolling from his eyes. One at a time, a pediatrician unfolded his tiny fingers to check if his hand was all right, and guess what he found?

The birth control pill.

The teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his numbers.

"Yes," he said. "I do. My father taught me." "Good. What comes after three." "Four," answers the boy.

"What comes after six?" "Seven."

"Very good," says the teacher. "Your dad did a good job. What comes after ten?"

"A Jack."

Joe says to Mark as he hands him a fine Cuban cigar " Do you have a light?"

"Sure", said Mark as he reaches into his golf bag and pulls out a 10 inch Bic lighter.

"Where did you get that lighter, its huge?!?!" asked Joe

" From my genie." Mark replied. " Wanna see him?"

" Ok " said Joe.

So Mark pulls this old bottle out of his golf bag and rubs it for a second and out pops this genie. The genie says to Joe " I will grant you 1 wish, what'll it be?"

Well Joe thought to himself, I better make this good, so he says to the genie " I wish I had a million bucks!" The genie made a gesture with his hand and poped back into the bottle. Well Joe looks around wondering where his million bucks is when all of the sudden the sky went totally black. He could here the sound of hundreds of wings, and when he looked up the sky was filled with DUCKS!

Mark looked at Joe and said " I forgot to tell you he was hard of hearing. You don't think I would have wished for a a 10inch BIC do you?

I did! About 3 yrs ago I became allergic to eggs!!!! How terrible. I truley miss donuts and brownies. What kid of allergy have you developed and how well do you cope?

to hear the story that you STILL tell because it made you absolutley giddy inside to be a kid again. When you had absolutley no right because you were an " adult"!!!!!!!!

I have actually been there about 6 weeks. I already knew all of the local police force and almost all of the sheriff's deputies. Today when I was going through the local grocery store with my 3 yr old boy he said make the cart sound like a race car and go fst momma!!!!!!! Seeings how I work graveyards I really never get to see my kiddos, and I just had to make the kid happy! So here I am 31 yrs old and running through the store making race car noises, skidding to a screeching halt at the check out stand. I apologized to the cashier because I (of course) am always telling the boys to slow sown, don't run, etc! Then one of my co-workers an undercover cop no less! Says to me " Ya sure have a lot of energy tonite!" And I say to him as he is walking by with his 15 yr old son "But I am playing with my kid! I don't really care who sees!!!!!!!" He was a bit offended, but I have to say , I love all 5 of my kids and I don't care whp sees me being and a s s , it is fun!!!!!!!! What say you!

his kids with him and ours are here too. All of the sudden my husband says that he is done and he has to work in the morning. Seeings how I work graveyards and he works days we have two different shifts. So our friend (yeah its a guy) says that he would like to have another beer with me and hubby sayd OK see ya in the morning. Mind you we have at least 4 kids outside with us, and friend and I are sitting acres apart, just shooting the s h i t having the rest of a beer. Then about an hour later my hubby opens the door and says " ARE YOU EVER COMING IN!?!?!?" so friend exits quickly thinking he p i s s e d friend off, kids are upset. Was I wrong to hang with the family friend and not go inright away? I usually work from midnight to eight am and hubby works from seven am till 4 pm. Friend is a fairly heavy fella and his wife works graveyards too only til about 2 or 3 am. I just amtired of being the last one to bed and the first one up!!!!! TEll me was I wrong?

might find a way to get along with my husband? We fight over petty things and I just walk away instead of standing there and getting my feelings hurt. I sometimes think that both him and I have taken on the blank you attitude. Once in a while there is a spark of niceness but then the other one will say or do something sarcastic or even rude and then that nice second is over. Any suggestions?

hate him on the top what do I do. And yes I have children invovled............................