I'm married, but I want to date other women on the side...?

There may be multiple emotions, thoughts and feelings your wife's having which is why she seems to contradict herself, and seems confused during these conversations. A part of her may at times actually feel she would be able to handle you being with other women, and this may seem off the wall to many people, but maybe part of her might even find it exciting or hot (please don't hate on me people-Google it) but then perhaps the fantasy of that fades and the thought of you being with another woman is unbearable and perhaps very threatening! Don't forget, what you're proposing can get VERY messy! Not just with your feelings or your wife's, but how about the woman/women you're having sex with! I've seen lots of different situations in my life and know that on many levels feelings and relationships can get way out of hand. (see movie Fatal Attraction) If you absolutely feel this is something you have to do, how about asking your wife how she'd feel if you went to an escort? (Again please don't start hating on me people!!) but it would be way less complicated than what you're proposing.

Whatever you two decide, but careful what you wish for. It may end up being worked out between you both and become something you two can live with, but also It's possible you may end up alienating the only woman who will ever truly and completely love you, and perhaps end up with one of these woman you so want to screw so badly and take the chance of having a life of misery and regret.

... I left it at that and brought it up again maybe a month later. We had a really good discussion, and I made it clear that I don't want to force or pressure her into letting me have a mistress. Only if she was okay with it. Again, she seemed really open to the idea, but near the end of the conversion, I asked how she felt right at that moment, and she said a little angry and a little hurt, so I left it at that. I really don't want to force her.

It's been another month, and it's eating me up inside. The desire to have another women is almost uncontrollable. I think about it constantly, and when I think about it, I feel terrible. Terrible because I want to have these life experiences, but not at the expense of my wife or her emotional well being.

When me and my wife have these conversations, I get mixed messages from her. She says things like "I don't own you" and something to the effect of "the times are changing - having a single partner might be old fashioned" and I'm pretty sure she genuinely means it.

We/She really wants to get pregnant in the next year. We have a house and we both have good paying jobs. We would be great parents and all that, but I'm scared to have a baby when I don't even have my own life in order.

My dad cheated on my mom and that ended in divorce. I WILL NOT do that to my kids... I don't know what to do. For the last month I haven't brought it up again. I've been letting her take her time and think things through.

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I'm married, but I want to date other women on the side...?

My wife and I got married this spring after being together for just over 10 years. She is a great women, and while the past 10 years hasn't been all flowers and sunshine, we are closer now than we ever have been before.

Even though I am so lucky to have a great women in my life, I feel like I...

Your right. You are selfish an more. Try rude an inconsiderate an you don't have a clue what you want. You want your cake an want eat it too. Marriage isn't about all that. Being married does not mean you get to play around. She don't sound like she's good with it. Your a fool. I screwed up an tries to make my wife jealous. Not only did I hurt her I messed up my wife's head an hurt her when she didn't deserve that kind of pain. So I'm telling you from experience realize what you have an don't mess it up.

"Even though I am so lucky to have a great women in my life, I feel like I need more" That's the problem, when you have all you need you start to wonder what else is out there, that's a terrible mistake. Like you have a great marriage (God knows how many men would like to be in your shoes) and you want to ruin EVERYTHING, be thankful for having a good wife, the woman deserves respect and IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA GIVE HER THAT THEN DON'T MAKE HER WASTE HER TIME. How do you think she feels when her husbands can't be satisfied with her as a woman e.e like seriously if you're gonna have these selfish thoughts then let her find someone better than you and don't be an asshole. If you do this you re gonna screw everything, what if then you don't want to stop what if you fall in love with that other woman WHAT WHAT WHAT! HOW YOUR WIFE IS GONNA FEEL!? But i guess you don't care about her as you care about your penis.

You're lucky to have such an open-minded wife. Most women would have kicked you to the curb for even suggesting such a thing. Keep talking to her about it. But keep in mind that fair is fair - one reason she may be so open to it is that maybe she wants to do the same thing with another guy. And things can get really complicated really fast when you start bringing other partners into the mix - they are going to have their own agendas as well. This is a dangerous road you're driving down - better make sure your seat belt is on tight. Best of luck.

Do you really think it is different! Those other women, yeah.... they will be eager and willing to go to places that you're wilfe might not go to but then the time comes where you meet the one that won't give up easily. that will torment you and you're wife and may put her in danger. Then there are the one's who want to get even with all men and make you an example by giving you something you cant get rid of.

But lets not even go that far. How will you feel once you do this and think mama is ok with it and POOF

one day you are checking out of the motel and you see her checking in? Then you find out "she was cheatin better than you". But remember "it aint cheatin til you get caught". Or how about the day she comes and says "Honey, I have thought about this and since you want to share so do I so I made a date on Saturday night with you're best friend. KARMA dude KARMA

You know very well that what you want is wrong. Make your love life with your own wife an adventure. Explore roles, positions, maybe the Kama Sutra. There might be a sex or seduction counsellor or something in your area or a self help book on seduction and marital adventure you could try. Make this journey with you wife or your marriage is toast and you will deeply hurt someone you supposedly love. Oh, also take up an active hobby like hiking with the Sierra club or jogging or team sports. You need to have safe outlets. Maybe you could both do things together that go beyond your comfort level, like zip lining, vertical wind tunnel, back packing,... Have you ever made love with your wife on a beach? In a car? On a mountain? In a field under the blue sky? Maybe make a list together of fun stuff you'd like to do like that and then do it!

I'm going to tell you right now she's not okay with it. She considers it normal, but it's not okay.

You aren't ready for marriage/commitment. if you want to play the field allow her her own freedom.

Because you can't honestly expect her to allow you a mistress, to date on the side, or even to have a threesome with you - if you aren't willing to accept her sleeping with other men on the side, or you performing a threesome with a male.

It's only selfish if it's one-sided. So don't be selfish. Just tell her you made a mistake, you aren't ready to commit, but you do love her. Tell her you want to experiment, & she should do the same. when you've had your fill come back to her & if it's meant to be it's meant to be. Just be open otherwise you'll ruin your marriage.

First, you are a scum bag. Ok that's out of my system. The reality is you are not trapped, you had 10 years to date her and seemed to have no problem being monogamous in the past. The feelings you have are natural and monogamy is not natural. Marriage is not natural. The thing is, marriage is super natural. It is biblical and we seek it not only as progression of our relationship but as a way of seeking to improve our own lives by seeking something more than our animal nature. Once you let this genie out of the bottle you cannot stop the change it will have on you, your wife, and your marriage. You did not date with a open relationship and you likely cannot survive marriage with a open relationship. I would first recommend finding ways to bring excitement and joy into your sex and fantasy life with your wife. That's the first goal. But if you do go forward with this open relationship request, you will probably find that meaningless sex with others is meaningless and that your wife may very much enjoy sex with others, far more than you do.