toff

wish my friends in the Gay, Lesbian, Bi-sexual, Transgendered (and their allies) section farewell. After about three years on here it is time for me to leave YA. Best to all of you.

Peace,

Toff

I post this in here because this is where I have the most YA friends. I lost my little friend (cat) after 20 years yesterday. It's kind of tough right now. I'm wondering, do any of you find yourself forming strong attachments with pets?

We've all seen some questions pop on here over, and over and over again. Some are just ridiculous and some are tired. Here is my top five list of inane questions, or questions that just need to be put to pasture:

1) Why do people turn gay?

2) Is homosexuality a choice?

3) Does this make me gay?

4) What makes people gay?

5) How do gay people have sex?

6) What makes people choose to be gay?

What questions would you add?

Over the past few days I have seen several respondents to questions state LGBT couples should push for civil unions with benefits rather than same gender marriage. One even said that or a "don't ask don't tell" policy is the way to go. To me the first suggestion would be like running a mile and declaring victory in a marathon. The second one doesn't even deserve rebuttal. Isn't anything less than full equality inequality? I guess I just don't understand some folks way of thinking.

We have G's and L's and B's and T's but we've got no letters for non homophobic folks like me who just happen to be heteros. Being referred to as straight isn't so satisfying. Like somebody pointed out yesterday on here, it kind of implies a person who is kind of a stuffed shirt stick in the mud. That's not me. I can't use an H because I don't want to be confused with the professional heterosexuals out there that seem to dedicatie themselves to lifting the heteros up and putting everybody else down. I need a letter but I've got no ideas.

Please tell me some of you do. I asked if anyone else remembered the great folk talent Odetta earlier, and was saddened by news of her death (in the General Culture section) and struck out. She inspired people like Harry Bellafonte, Bob Dylan, and Peter, Paul and Mary. A great voice in the civil rights movement and nobody seemed to know who she was. Well, I know, I remember and I will miss her great voice.

At the news that Odetta passed away this week? What a voice she had, and what a wonderful spirit.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081125/ap_on_re_us/ga...

Good news for those who support equal rights.

Great news for the children in Florida who have no home.

This quote has always been intriguing for me. "In short freedom is, for each and all things of the universe, to follows(sic) their natural tendencies, and to fulfill their own virtues, qualities and capacities. This...is my idea of liberty" Bartolomeo Vanzetti

How best to help folks understand we each have natural tendencies, and that we each have natural gifts to offer? I wish for a way to help people understand this.

As for me it's going to be a martini (maybe a double), a good book and (here I'm showing my age and corniness again) Dean Martin on the CD player. Hope everybody has a good weekend.

Can any of these problems be solved by a single segment of our society? Can the conservatives or the liberals solve them? Can the gays or the straights do it alone? Can the Christians handle it without those who are not Christian?

If your answer to any of these is yes then I'd love to hear your plan. If your answer is no then isn't it time we became inclusive of all and began to address the very real problems that face us a nation? As for me, I think it's time to tear down the walls that divide us and face the future as an equal, united people. We will always have differences of opinion, but we can be a united people.

Do these people really believe marriage to be the property so to speak of the Christian church? It also seems interesting that many of them have a problem with the government telling a church it cannot endorse a political candidate but no problem with a church being told it cannot provide a legal marriage to a same sex couple.

I have seen several posts on YA in which people have stated "let the proposition 8 vote go, the majority have voted yes" or "this is a democracy and 'you people' lost". When did the words majority and right attain equal meaning. There was a time when the majority upheld the idea of slavery, the lack of suffrage for women, the lack of suffrage for black citizens, and the policies of 'separate but equal' for black citizens. Were those in the majority right in these belief's? Few would think so today. So, why do people assume the majority is correct in denying citizens equality today?

Those who have taken to the streets to demand equality? The ones who demand they be defined by who they are rather than by the names given to the walls used to divide us? I wish the best for them, and I wish for myself their passion and courage.

Let me start by saying I was immensely saddened and disgusted with the passage of this proposition and am very hopeful it can be overturned. However, for the first time I have seen masses take to the street and protest on behalf of equal rights for GLBT citizens. I was born in the 50's and still remember seeing the civil rights protests on behalf of black Americans which took place in the '60's. That kind of emotion has been lacking in the coverage of the efforts for equal rights in recent years.

Are we, gay and straight finally willing to take to the streets for this very just cause? If the proposition 8 vote served as this needed catalyst then perhaps there is indeed a silver lining in this tragic outcome. Am I way off base here?

I have seen several questions concerning adoption by gay couples today. Over and over I see respondents refer to a gay couple "raising" children to be gay. So here is the part I don't get. If, as they claim God created humanity, and created that humanity to be straight. If, as they claim, we learn our sexuality from our parents, rather than are born with it, then how is anyone gay? Their very argument makes no sense at all. The only thing that does make sense is we are born with our sexual orientation. What makes even more sense is the simple fact that a loving home is the greatest gift a child can be offered, regardless of the gender of the parents.

"I find it interesting that the national government which speaks most about freedom and liberty is also the government which turns a blind eye to those same liberties in their own back yard. It proves the point that liberty is not defined by ideas and ideals, but rather by those who posses the power to write the definition." B.V.

That's what an anti gay marriage question stated a few moments ago on here. I always thought for two things to be equal they had to each have the same amount. Just for an example let's look at the fact that I am married in the eyes of the state I live in, and I have two good friends who happen to both be male and cannot be married in the eyes of the same state. Doesn't that mean we are unequal? So how in the heck are they asking for special treatment? They seek nothing more than what every heterosexual person in this nation already has. Isn't that the textbook definition of "seeking equal rights"? So help me understand this, how does seeking equal rights equate to seeking special treatment? I just don't get it.

Can you please explain how a gay couple marrying can threaten, demean, lessen the importance of or in anyway negatively impact my marriage to my wife of nearly 30 years? Can you explain how anyone other than my wife and I can harm our marriage? Because I just don't get it. I don't understand how my marriage could mean less because two other people choose to dedicate their lives to each other out of love and respect.

I asked if his death saddened anyone else in the Music category and got no answers. Maybe they are too young, or could it be that I am the only one that remembers his work with the Grateful Dead, BB King, Miles Davis and the Chairman himself? If so, that is sad. As for me, I will miss the man and his music.