Spiffs C.O.

I have my degree in Management Information Systems which covers a very general area in IT. I currently work an entry level position as a generalist, mostly helpdesk. This is my first job in IT and I've been here about 9 months. The thing is, I still sometimes feel like I don't know a lot. Sometimes my boss and coworkers go into "IT jargon" and I feel like they are speaking another language! I do my best to research things and try to understand, I'm definitely an intelligent person, but still I sometimes feel like I'm "out of my league". IT can be extremely specialized and when a Network Engineer starts going off about Cisco and networks I just feel so lost. Is this normal for a person starting in IT? When first starting in IT I'm wondering if many had similar experiences or feelings? Thank you!

I'm trying to socialize my new puppy to people, other dogs, new experiences, being alone, etc. I've had the puppy for four days now and we've started the crate training, puppy classes, etc. He is a Pembroke Welsh Corgi and he is 12 wks old.

My question is: my friends offer to take my puppy a few nights a week for a few hours. Is this something good or should I be with the puppy? Does the puppies world need to revolve around me or is it ok if he is around other people too? At first I thought it would be great to do this to get him used to not having to be near only me 24/7 (hence avoid separation anxiety) and to get used to and friendly with other people, but I've read other sites that say that the puppy should only play and eat with me so that I can establish pack leader rules (he only eats here, but plays with other people).

Any insights?

Thanks!

Blue Moon

You tell me everything’s just fine,

In fact, sublime.

And then…

you’re gone.

Well, you’re wrong.

You can’t see

All things left in-between

The pieces on the floor

A heart that’s not whole anymore.

I’m alright,

But not ok.

Fighting the feelings,

The words left to say,

I’ll lay them down,

Tonight.

I’ll put to rest

This fight:

A war inside myself.

Put the empty dreams upon that shelf.

I’ll stare at them,

On a blue moon

And smile like a fool.

I’m alright,

But not ok.

Just another beautiful day.

Prison Sentence

You spend so much time running

Do you even know now, what it’s for?

Hiding your pain, behind false smiles

Building the lies all the more

It’s ironic, you think?

You’re so content and life is beautiful

His arms might give you some release

But you’ll still wake up all alone

You’ll stay on this cycle of misery

Until at last, you learn.

I may not know everything

But I know

That just isn’t love.

I tried to help you

I cared too much

I held to tight

To a dying light.

It was my mistake

Now, thank you for the lessons

And with him you can now begin

Your hellish prison sentence.

Give and Take

I won’t compromise

My integrity

Listen to your

Empty words and

Voided dreams

All that we lost

Found in between

The ends can’t justify

The means

Those beautiful lies

From half hearted innocent eyes

Eyes that I despise

And gorgeous tainted lips

Burning with a deadly kiss

My giving becomes tired

I will no longer

Feed that fire

Let’s get off this tedious ride

Its demons

I cannot abide

Inability to decide

It’s your heart you hide.

Though you never found mine.

I won’t change myself

To suit your desires

Or be sucked into the

Insecurity mire.

Gaining wisdom from these mistakes

A broken heart

And that’s ok

This is how the heart is made

Whole

This unseemly gift is what it takes

To make the spirit

Grow

Give and Take

I won’t compromise

My integrity

Listen to your

Empty words and

Voided dreams

I won’t change myself

To suit your desires

Or be drawn into the

Insecurity quagmire

And of all your lies

I’m just tired

I will no longer

Feed that fire

And I may not be

What you want to see

But I found that I’m happy

To simply be me.

Healing

Everyone’s looking

For something to be

A love that is lasting

Is caring and real

And I spent so much time

Blaming the world

For its shadows and losses

And those who were cruel

And I felt that I always

Had to be so much more

faultless and flawless

With fans to adore

It took some time to realize

I was already whole.

If your seeking perfection

You won’t find it in me

I’m flawed and I’m human

These scars you can see

But I am no less than the others out there

The journey to beauty

Is not in what you wear

Its not in what you see

But who you are and are trying to be

The essence of beauty

I found it in me.

We are broken and wounded

But loving and free

Not perfect, but trying

And that’s the meaning

Of true self esteem.

I have a variety of potted plants on my porch, the thing is they all look a little bleak. Some of them are yellowing slightly or look bright green and don't seem to be growing much. I have some lobelia, alyssum, merigolds and others. I live in an apt complex and only get indirect sunlight all day where my porch is. The plants seemed to be doing fine at first and I can't tell if they are just going through a regrowth cycle, but I spent a lot of money on them so I don't want them to die. What could the problem be? am I possibly overwatering? What is a good rule for watering?

Thanks!

My friend's parents brought him here when he was very young (about 4) and he has lived here in this country since that time. He attended a U.S. High School and currently works freelance art. He's 25 now but still doesn't have his citizenship. He is waiting on the Dream Act, but that may never pass. Does he have any other options? For all intents and purposes he is a U.S. Citizen, since this is the only country he has ever known.

Relations

It’s a world of give and take

A cost, a risk

A heart to break

When everything’s at stake

Who will take the fall

And risk it all

Who will be the first

To thirst

To have an open heart

Reveal emotion there

And in turn given only despair

If loves a losing game

A pathetic dying flame

Why do we believe it so

Maybe we should just let go

Is it beauty that we weave

Or time spent trying to deceive

If you only want to win

Then loving was my sin

When tears are the constant price we pay

There has to be a better way.

The Path

I can’t beg

And you can’t feel

Something that just isn’t real

I look in your eyes

But all I see

Is nothing staring back at me.

And so I walk away

A barren road

Littered with a thousand shades of grey

The stars above will be my guide

Because the sun has died behind

As the road ahead of me

Grows darker with uncertainty.

Seams

What is this?

What can it be

This darkness washing over me

Pulling at my fraying seams

In disgusting lovely

Horror dreams

The pit inside

An aching gnaw

An overlapping tide

Rushing churning

A fresh new wound to add the burning

Learning daily to abide.

Will it fade?

Will time pour out its portent?

Full of mercy, full of grace?

Will it weave a tender thing…

Will love take me under wing?

The mending of the seams.

We broke up. I thought it was over, we didn't speak for 6 months. Got an emailed apology saying that he hit rock bottom and it helped him realize all of this stuff, etc. Suffice it to say, we started talking again, started seeing each other again. A few weeks later he says he's too busy with work and while he cares for me a lot and wants to commit to me he can't due to the desire to make it as an artist and photographer. He says he can be a good friend to me but not a bf at this time and that his mom even feels ignored because he is too busy to talk to her. I told him to really think about it, that I wasn't asking a lot, just communication, affection and honesty when he can give it. I'm an independent person, not needy at all.

Two weeks go by and I didn't hear from him at all. I sent him an email asking for him to at least call me so we can resolve this, either choosing to not speak again or try to work it out and at least have the respect this time to let me know what he is thinking. That it would mean a lot to me. He says he will call on a specific date. That day he texts and says he's really busy and because he wants to give me his undivided attention he wants to call another day. Well, we arranged a day to speak on the phone about all of this (Saturday) because we both had things going on and wanted to take time to focus on this as it was an important conversation. On Saturday he doesn't call all day. I had plans with friends that evening so when midnight rolls around I send him a sarcastic text saying, "thanks for calling." He responded with a text saying that he "just got home, was really busy and that he was just about to text me, but I texted him first." I responded with "hrm.." and he responded with "you don't have to believe me." To which I replied: "A man's only as good as his word." And he responded with "okay." That was all. Haven't heard from him since. Anyone have any objective insight into whats going on? I really care about this guy and want it to work out..don't know what to do anymore. He hasn't responded to two of my other texts recently...

P.S. This is my brother's account. He has all the points to use! :)

Thanks!

I don't want it to sound like I'm a bitter person, but I feel I need to communicate my pain so that I can have closure. What do you think:

I'm not writing this to bash you, but I need to let you know, that you hurt me. Its not the first time, which is my mistake for believing your words, but it will be the last. I feel what you did was cowardly, that you didn't even have the decency nor respect to follow through on anything you have said and talk to me, man to man, to offer a little closure. That was all that I requested of you. A ten minute phone call would have sufficed and you had ample opportunity to do so. You couldn't even offer a simple goodbye. Instead, you chose to ignore everything that I earnestly said and tried to communicate to you. You ignored all of my questions, thoughts, suggestions and communications without any explanation whatever. That was extraordinarily hurtful and you need to understand that your actions and lack of actions cause pain and confusion. You say that you care for me as an individual, but your actions show the complete opposite. A simple acknowledgment would have even sufficed. To simply ignore things and not deal with them is not an adequate way to deal with the issues of life. It goes without saying that you should treat others how you would want to be treated. I know that you know this, but you do not practice it in principle. It is hurtful to care for a person so, but to have them not return even the slightest ounce of thought, concern nor compassion. That is what I feel you have done to me.

In the future, be mindful not to treat others this way. Don't apologize for your wrongdoings only to commit the same ones. Do not subject others to your own confusions and inner demons. Take responsibility for your actions. Do not give your word to do something and not follow through. Do not open communication with someone unless you intend to follow things through to the end. You say that you have changed and you apologized. You have not changed and your apologies were misplaced. You do not value other people, you value only yourself. Your negligent actions are hurtful to people. They were hurtful to me. I hope that you learn that life is not about what you can gain, to invest your time and energy in passing things, but that the people whom truly and sincerely care about you in life are the true treasures and the rarest gifts of all. Love in all its varied forms, friendship, romantic or charitable, is the only thing that can be given in life freely and is what makes life beautiful and the darkness of life bearable. You may not understand this today, or tomorrow, but someday I believe you will see this.

Be blessed and I truly hope that you find peace of mind and heart. It is obvious that you lack the compassion, empathy, respect and harmony at this point in your life to truly have grown as an individual, as is evident by your actions. These things I hope you do discover. Be well and know that though you have caused me pain again, you are already forgiven for my sake as well as yours. Take care of yourself. I let go and release you from my life with all the best intentions, in love, forgiveness and compassion, knowing that I have expressed myself as fully as I can and tried as best as I can to show that I care and therefore have no regrets.

Peace to you in life. I hope that life brings you all that you desire: healing, an open heart, love, goodness, joy; and in your pains: lessons to be learned. And may you find someone to give you the things that I could not give...though I would have like to have tried.

All the best,

C

My bf is a photographer and he has dreams of one day making millions of dollars and doing spreads in W magazine and such. Honestly, is this a truly realistic option for him? I want to be supportive but his photography takes up so much time and energy that it effects our relationship. He does freelance and dance photography at the moment, it barely pays his bills. He has talent and makes connections, but he still struggles to get by every month. I know it is an incredibly competitive and challenging field, how successful can he truthfully expect to be? I personally feel he may not ever get to that level of success, but I don't know what to say anymore...

help?

In-Between

How nice it is to see you

In this place between the tide and times.

All the things I wanted to say…

Instead, I will just smile.

I wonder if you ever

Had any feelings of regret?

How sad that you became

A stranger

The moment that you left.

And now we have become

Two unfamiliar visitors

In this transient place.

We pass each other

In the silence,

Till again we wake.

In the past where they have fallen

A thousand beautiful things...

Yet, sometimes I still see

That familiar stranger

Passing in my dreams.

For more info of situation, see previous question asked. Here we go:

"I'd hope that we can be perfectly honest with each other, considering we are both adults and that we were at one time intimate. So abandoning all pretense and practicality, I'd like you to be perfectly honest with me about something. Did you try to get a hold of me because you still care about me, or was it simply a friendly gesture? I would appreciate your absolute honesty. I was quite truthfully, very confused by your actions. Obviously we are in two different states right now, but forgoing what is "practical" about that situation, do you still have feelings?

I will be utterly honest with you: I'm in no way in denial that we are not together. I accepted that truth long ago. However, I still do care very deeply for you and I still feel as though you are a very special, beautiful, person. Even though I have let go of what could have been, I still care. I have not met another like you, and though I have been with several others, I have never felt for them what I have felt for you. Take these truisms for what they are, an honest confession.

I realize that you are very busy now, but I would greatly appreciate your response, when you have the time. I believe it would help me have some clarity."

Should I send this and go the honest route, or continue playing "hard to get" like I just don't care?!

We broke up about 3 months ago. They are moving to another state and even though it was going very well between us (all of this was set in motion before we met and they REALLY want this opportunity), we both knew it had to end. I realized I was crazy in love and wanted to do whatever it took, so I offered the long distance option, denied, then I offered to maybe move to the same state and was told that they weren't sure what could happen, that is was a "possibility" that we could be together, but that they needed to focus on their career, etc. One of our last actual conversations entailed them telling me that they were pretty much over it, they were sorry, they loved me, but it was bad timing and then they hung up on me!

They went away for the summer, training for a job, we did not keep in touch. I was extremely hurt by all of this.

NOW my ex started texting me about a month ago congratulating me on doing well for myself. I simply just thanked them and that was that. Then, they show up in town and txt saying that they want to meet before they leave again, I say that that will be ok, but then they text that they will be too busy and won't be able to meet after all!!! I'm so confused by this! I really am still in love with them, but not sure if they are interested or not? Was it just a friendly gesture? I want to ask, but afraid of getting more hurt again.

Advice?

My ex started texting me about a month ago congratulating me on doing well for myself. Then, they show up in town and want to meet before they leave again, I say that that will be ok, but then they text that they will be too busy and won't be able to meet after all. I'm so confused by this! I really am still in love with them, but not sure if they are interested or not? Was it just a friendly gesture? I want to ask, but afraid of getting more hurt again.

Advice?

Hourglass

Been fighting the hourglass

Its sands flowing too slowly for me

For it seems that I’m stuck in the past

With all of your beautiful memories

I smile with sun

But I cry with the moon

I can put on a good front

But I’m still not over you

Even though, I know you’re gone

Even though it’s made me strong

I can’t deny, it’s you I want

To hold between my arms.

Been fighting the hourglass

Its sands flowing too slowly for me

I just want to forget the past

And all of your beautiful memories