VAgirl

Last January we adopted a female Maine Coon mix from the shelter. They stated she would not let anyone pick her up-but she was very friendly to me and to my 5 year old son. She was already fixed so we assume she was a house cat once. She was fairly aggressive from the start-she will bite me if I am near my son and he shows any sign of being upset and she has our 40 pound dog shaking in fear due to her aggression. My 14 year old cat just flat out avoids her. She has bitten my hubby twice. When she bit my son we went to the vet and after a full work up, decided she is overly attached to my son and has "claimed" him so she feel ok keeping us away and correcting his behavior. So she is now on 5 mg of Valium daily for her behavior issues and it seemed to help. Then about 4 months ago she started peeing in the house. Trip to the vet, shot of antibiotics in case it was an infection-again, likely a behavior issue. She stopped peeing for a bit but this weekend we moved things in the house a bit so we can have gas logs installed in the fireplace and she peed in the floor. We woke up this morning to find a second pee spot. My hubby has put her outside-and I am beyond upset. I can't have her destroy the house and honestly, the dog and other cat seem much calmer with her outside but I feel like an adoption failure. We live on a dead end street so very little traffic and I have gotten her a small dog house to make her a nice comfy place to sleep on the carport. I am just a bit stumped as to anything else we could have done to keep her from haivng social issues like marking. I know when I have to tell my son about this afterschool today he will be upset, but I just don't know what else we can try. We have pretty much turned the house upside down the last few months to keep her happy so she won't attack us or the other animals. Any suggestions?

I am let go for not working on Saturdays? I work a 32 hour week (M-Th) and when I was hired I told them I can only work the week, no weekends. Now I am being told I have to work weekends and I can not get an approval for working the extra hours and no authoriazation to take the time from Sat off another day. I don't plan to work for free and I made it clear that they need to tell me in the next hour about the approval or I can not get a sitter for the day. My worry is that this company seems to just fire people with no thought - the last 2 property managers they had were let go over really minor things. They assured me when I was hired that they are family friendly and that is why I came here. I have no prior work issues-in fact I have been acknowledged multiple times for outstanding service and performance. I am worried that they are going to fire me and I won't be able to get unemployment benefits. I am printing out all the emails and such I have been sent that show I am asking them to confirm my pay for the hours.

For Xmas I gave the girls, 12 and 13, a set of Vera (each got a big tote bag, back sack, purse and some cosmetic bags and pencil cases). I made sure first that they knew about the brand and that they were popular bags at their high schohol. And the girls know they were a little pricey so no loaning a bag to a pal, or leaving them sit in the cafateria. We told them use them and enjoy them but be careful with them. Since I got the bags on sale at the Vera site, I went ahead and got them each a purse for Easter and the youngest a new tote bag for her "graduation" to the high school from middle school and I put those back to give later on.

Now here is the rub-they are not taking care of the bags they got at Xmas. They overload them with books (which their dad said not to do), they have hung a ton of keychains off of the purses they got. The youngest let a friend borrow a bag for a trip and she is also not using a very nice very pricey coat we got her to match the bags she got (her sister said she lost it, which fits as she has lost 2 ipods and a gameboy). I am so bummed that they aren't taking care of the items that I spent a lot to get for them. I am a big Vera Bradley nut (havce over 20 bags) and they seemed to like them-so I was thinking they would take care of them. Seeing how this has played out up to now-I am rethinking giving them the other Vera items had put back for them. If they don't take care of what they have-I really can't see giving them more to tear up. But I feel a little guilty for not giving them the bags since I got them for the girls. And at the same time the idea of them treating a new batch of $45-89 bags the way they have the xmas ones makes me feel ill.

Should I just admit that at 12 and 13 they just don't know how to take care of thier stuff? My hubby had long ago set up a policy of not giving them really nice clothes (designer) or really complex toys because they have 2 young and destrutive sibllings at their mom's home. I told him when we were dating, if you don't show them how/why we do take care of stuff they won't learn. I don't know if they just don't care or what the issue is but once I got him to start giving them things they had to be more careful with-they have without fail lost the items, the younger kids have gotten them and torn them up, or they just don't use them. I am about to the point my hubby was 6 years ago-there is no point to get them nice stuff they won't take care of or appreciate. My 3 year old son takes better care of his things than they do (he even told me once to get my bag off the dirty floor cause the dog mite chew it). I guess I am just feeling bad about rethinking the gifts and realizing the girls aren't the type to really want the work that goes with taking care of what they have been given. UGH.

I have 2 step-girls (ages 13 and a half-got to get the half, and 11) and they have yet to come over to the house with a coat and it has been cold. My hubby asked them if they had warm coats that fit them-they say yes. And then the next visit he picked them up at school-no coats. They both have hoodies-both seem to be chilly at all times. My hubby is ready to chew thier mother out and ask why she either hasn't used the child support money to get them coats or isn't making them wear coats. She works at the school the younger one attends and knows what they are wearing.

I calmed my hubby down a bit and I got them each a polar fleece jacket in a color they like to keep at our house or (hopefully)take with them to school, but my question is why are kids opting not to wear coats? They say they have them and chose not to use them? Is this the new trend or something? The oldest is in high school now and because of were her locker is she carries all her books and things with her all the time rather than use a locker and maybe be late to class-so I am thinking she may not want to get bogged down with a big coat plus books to carry. I have asked friends who have kids in this age range and it seems that none of them are using the coats they have. So is it a space issue at school or is it not cool to have a big coat anymore? I asked the girls and they just shrug and say they just don't need big coats. I have five heavy coats and use one daily. But I work with college kids and since I started paying attention to this issue I do notice the freshmen tend to have either hoodies or no coat (and it is cold here) and the upper classmen have gone back to using a coat. Is it an age thing? Just very curious about this issue since it is just such an afront to most parent's to have the kids go out without a decent warm coat on. And yes-my toddler looks like a tick about to pop whenever we leave the house even on a short trip.

My husband has 2 girls from his first marriage-oldest is in HS now. He pays over $1200 a month in child support and has since the kids were 3 and 2 (when they divorced). The mom remarried, had 2 more kids and her hubby has 1 from another marriage. They make ends meet but nothing over the top-and they make no bones about telling the girls with 5 kids in the house things must be cut or they don't have money for extras. Yes-despite the $1200 a month for our girls.

My hubby and I have college degrees and good jobs-we have one child because we don't think we can afford another (with day care college savings etc). We own our home, have money for some extras-but not loaded by any means. We also do stuff for the girls in addition to the child support. I have a college fund set up for my son so he can go to college with out needing to get loans since I am still paying my own student loans.

So here is the rub-the oldest is talking about college. That is good. But who should pay? To me, mom should have taken some of the support money and set up a college fund for each of them. She has not saved any of the money she was given and she doesn't spend her own money on them and has in the past said she used child support for her other kids or the new hubby's bills. My hubby has a small amount set aside for them but not much (won't cover one year tuition at current rates). So my question is this-should we tell mom to start saving some money for the girls? Or should we just tell them that thier mom didn't save any support money and we only have a small amount set aside so they need to either do community college and then take out loans to go to a four year school because we can not pay for college in full? I am getting the impression from the girls that they think we will pay the bill for them to go to college and that is not even a possibility for us to do. I just don't want them to find out senior year that we aren't able to cover tuition of $40K and then wonder why no one told them.

One is in the 8th grade (and that means in high school where we live) the other is in the 6th grade. I got them each a HSM throw for their beds and HSM bath and body sets, and I got them each a Vera Bradley Bag (but not the same one-I got them a bag based on what they carry with them). My hubby is now a bit put out that I didn't do our usual thing of getting them the exact same stuff. And he is now determined that the remaining gifts be the same. I think they are old enough to get that they are 2 separate people with separate interest-I want to get my oldest books that she wants or a gift card to a book store and the youngest something that she likes. Last year we asked for 2 months for a gift list and they never did give us one so we just had to guess and my hubby got them Barbies. Any tips on what is big with this age group? Shopping for them was easier when they liked toys-LOL.

I have an interview today (less than 24 hours notice for it) for a job with my local school district for a new position. It is for a substance abuse counselor. They have given no details on the job other than it requires a BS degree and is grant based. How do I prepare for this interview?

Jobs in our community are not common and right now I commute 2 hours a day-I would love to get a job close to home that will pay close to my current salary so I do not want to flub the interview.

I left my job with a local govt about 2 and a half years ago because they were changing the scope of the program I worked with and I didn't feel super safe (I had to do inspections of clients homes). So I looked and found a private group that paid much better. But, it also meant weekends and a little longer hours and fewer holidays. Plus, the kicker-the person I was supposed to replace in 6 months decided not to leave and he is realy negative person who makes the whole office miserable. So I saw an add today for a position with my former place that is something I would like and have had training for and could do. Plus back to a M-F 9 to 5 hour for lunch, all holidays off and great benefits. So, should I apply and how do I do that short of saying "I made a mistake and want to work for the government again". I did leave on good terms and the person who replaced me was someone they re-hired after leaving 7 years prior.

My DH and I are having a little issue. He has 2 girls from his first marriage and the oldest is "graduating" from elementary school and going to high school in the fall. She is a typical 13 year old-but my DH thinks she is still interested in Barbies and the like. At her age, my mom took me to Merle Norman for a make over (ie-they showed me how to care for my skin and put on lip gloss and blush but I thought it was the biggest thing ever) and I want to do that for my SD so she knows how to use a little make up the correct way and doesn't apply three pounds of blue eye liner the first day of high school. DH said I want to "tart her up" and that she isn't into that stuff anyway because she likes books and has no interest in make-up. Now the last time she was over she told us about her friends slumber party and that they looked at foundations and some other makeup the girls mom had. I want to show her the proper way to handle make up and show her that less is more plus it would be a

I have a window in the living room that is a tad larger than a patio door-huge window. I love it and it was a great feature but now the heat coming in is unreal. I have a sheer and a heavy curtain over it, we have planted a tree in te front yard to block out the sun but that won't help for the next year or two. So I am thinking of taking an existing planting bed in the front and pushing it out a bit to make it follow the curve of the window (it is built into the design of the house-kind of like a huge bow window) and planting some ornamental grasses that will offer some shade and can then be moved out once the tree is better established. What grasses would you suggest? I need some that will get tall and some that will stay shorter so that I can make as attractive a display as I can.

The other night when I took my dog out between storms she was acting odd and when I looked to see what she was barking at I saw a very large animal-that looked to me like a coyote. It was storming and there was a flash of lightening and I reached down to shorten up my dogs lead and looked up again and the animal was gone. Now the way my yard is layed out-it could not have just vanished (no places to run and hide that fast). This animal came out from the area wher eI buried my cat of 18 years last month and darted to the large oak tree my son's swing hangs from. In fact-it was standing by and looking at his swing. We live in a rural area and there are coyotes on the far side of the county (25-30 miles from me) and no one seems to have heard of coyotes or fox in town. I am just starting to wonder if I actually saw this coyote or was it a vision of some type. I am a big believer in visions and spirits.

I live in Virginia and I need suggestions for a good shade tree that meets the following criteria:

-Can't get more than 20-25 feet tall (we have overhead power lines and I can see the neighbors larger trees have been trimmed by the power company-they have killed several by over trimming)

-Can't have roots that are invasive (so no willow's)

-Needs to be fairly fast growing

-Must be tolerant of heat and sun, drought (as this is now an ongoing issue in our state), but must have limbs that will take the ice storms of recent years

-Prefer not to have something that will draw bees or drop fruit in the yard as this tree will be a living part of our families well used yard

I have been doing research for weeks and all the ones I like I find major down sides to. I have contacted our local extension agent but haven't gotten a reply. I want to tell my hubby to make the tree my mother's day gift (so we can get it planted soon) and I need to narrow my choices and decide on somethin

I have a high end consignment store near my office and I went in today to find a top and large bag/tote for a trip this weekend. The lady who owns the shop said she had a nice Vera Bradley-size was good, a tiny bit more than I was planning to spend, but Happy Mom's day to me. Anyway-I paid $36.99 for a bag that looks like a Betsy on the VB site and the pattern is American Red which is retired. Do these bags typically go up on retirement or did I overpay? I have 3 Fossil bags from the shop that were all under $20. And she has 7 more VB bags from the same lady who is getting rid of her collection (they were all gifts from her now ex-hubby). I was just curious since I am finding that I like this bag a lot I might want to add some more.

My parents, hubby, 2 year old, and I will be going to see Thomas the Train in Baltimore this weekend. We are going to be leaving the train station in the early eveing and want to get dinner at the near by Inner Harbor before our drive home. I am trying to find a spot for dinner that is not fast food, but will be ok with a toddler who is reved up from a day of adventures. Any suggestions from other parent's? It is also my hubby's birthday this weekend so we want to do something fun but not someplace that will be bent out of shape if my son is tired and cranky (not that I let him go wild in public-just given the day I have no clue if he will be tired and calm or over excited). Thanks!!!

Curious to see. I just finished for my toddler (using special offers and such from toy websites I use a lot-I have saved a ton). I have his summer birthday done-even got decorations knocked out, I have his Halloween outfit already, and now his Chrstmas is done. Well, except what Santa might do for him;) I just like to get this stuff done while items are on sale so I don't stress or have to do last minute stuff. Anyone else do that? Oh-his big present is a wooden train set of Polar Express-his fave movie (we watched 2x's this weekend) got it for 1/3 the price in January.

My 2 year old is going to the dentist next week. We have been reading books on going to a dentist and talking about dentist. He has 3 teeth now that have come in with odd texture and color-his ped isn't sure if it is from being a premie, high amounts of antibiotic for ear infections during his first year (had tubes put in on first b-day and no more infections), or from a fall at day care last Oct where he went face first into a bench. They got us in fast to see a children's dentist and the first appt is just the initial check and then we will have to go back for treating the teeth. My DH has a phobia about dentist and is not taking my son. I love the dentist (clean, bright, office smells good-odd I know). I am wondering what else I can do to get my son ready for the dentist so he won't have any bad feelings about going since I know this is the first of likely 2 trips to treat his teeth. The place we are going is well recommended and only sees kids so they have puppets to show the kids

While working in our yard this weekend, we moved a nice peony the old home owner had planted almost on top of an evergreen shrub. So as we were tending to some other shrubs that seem fairly new-we found two more clusters of shoots in another spot (also kind of under the newer plants). We moved one cluster to a space with the same amount of light as it had. The second one I didn't find till late so we didn't move it yet (just to tired). We have no clue what the plants are. They have about 3-4 shoots up now in a circular patern-came up easy no bulbs or tuburs according to my DH. The "stalks" are a very bright green with white on them. MY DH's first reaction was oh Bamboo but I said no that would be everywhere. The house was a foreclosed flip so my guess from talks w/neighbors is the flipper pretyt much cut down all the plants and flowers they had and came in and planted new shrubs (pretty much over top the old stuff). The shoots are in a location with LOTS of sun so my guess was that

I am just curious as to how many little boys have a doll house or doll of their own. My son is 2 & a 1/2 and his Nana has ordered a doll house for him that is a nueatral wooden house with dolls and furniture (which I am thrilled with because anytime we go to someone's house who has a real doll house he will spend hours playing with it-putting the baby to bed, having them make dinner and eat, drive off to work, etc). I have also given him two little boy dolls that are cloth - one is a fireman and one is a little Brio doll who is a train engineer that he calls Billy. He also has a toy kitchen and a toy vacuume-he likes to clean when I do. Now in addition he has train sets, race cars, blocks, footballs, robots, and a bike-all those traditional boy things. To me it is no big deal and actually a good thing for him to see that a boy can help at home too. Just curious to see if other little boys like dolls-seems like other countries see doll houses as gender neutral.

I have an interview in the morning for a job that I really want and want to make a good impression. It is with a local Community Services Board (dealing with low cost mental health care) for an admin position. The last interview I went to-wasn't as thrilled with the job so no big loss-I wore my usual, blazer, slacks, shoes matched my bag type thing. I got in and to my amazement my interviews (agency director and another clinic worker) had on cord pants, sweaters, and clogs-I looked like I was govt official in to do an audit. I don't think it made a good impression with them. This interview is a loca branch of a larger agency which is based in Northern VA. I am torn between a sweater set and a more casual blazer-I really want to present myself well and face it, appearance counts. I don't want to overdo it but I am nervous about looking to formal. It is for a 3 day a week admin/office position that will work some with clients. Which would you go for?

This is a tv show base on the chapter books illustrated by Maurice Sendack. It was on from 95-99 and airs now on Noggin. My son who is 2 LOVES "li-ttle bear" and we TIVO and watch everyday after bath as we settle down for the night. My question is why don't they still make toys for this character? He is very popular and I know lots of friends whose kids love the show and they all ask the same thing-why not have more Little Bear? After all a cute teddy bear is always a big hit.

--And I did just purchase a set of Little Bear, Cat, and Duck from eBay-still other folks may not think of that but would still want to get him. Heck-my son uses Little Bear toothpaste and it is a new product! (I checked the use by date-lol)